takde hati nak kerja

setiap ari
mmg asyik drag je diri utk gi kerja
bangun pagi kena paksa diri
nak gi kerja lagi la kena betul2 paksa diri..
xde hati lgsg nk kerja..
lgsg xde hati..

bila ckp pd mama..
pd adik...
mama ngan adik xpahamm

jawapan mama..
"kerja je kak...dah diberi awak kerja tu...kerja je la..."
kdg2 tu..
"bukan diaorg mntak penyakot kanser tu..akak kerja aje la.."

huuuu.
but what they dont understand is...
i have no passion at all upon my job..
i dont like onco..at all..

i dont like meeting the same patient each and everytime..and knowing how unfortunate the future will be for them,despite d treatment given..
i dont like onco
i really dont like onco..
it is not becoz of d patients..
no...
but..i have no interest at all in oncology..
nothing..
and smua org xpaham tu...
people may think that i am picky and choosy and plz add on my ungratefulness together with my asyik2 nk complaint itu ini..

it is not that..
it is just i dont feel happy working now..
it almost come to the point where i am starting to hate my job..
i dont know why..
rasa nye sbb saya lgsg xde passion dlm melaksanakan tugas2 saya..jd smua kerja yg saya lakukan adalah di dalam.keterpaksaan...

and me being.myself..
i hate being forced 
and i hate myself sbb memaksa diri buat kerja yg lgsg saya xsuka..

i dont hv any interest in my current posting..
i have no passion for onco..
and i really hate myself for that..

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