A day, another busy day...

Arini sgt memenatkan, tp best :)
Pg td, ktaorg smua g KK Beserah..pg2 ada briefing pasal school health program, then, kitaorg smua mengubahkan bilik seminar kt ctu mjadi operation room C2 dlm ktaorg mengejar masa utk siap kan proposal presentation utk esk~ huhu..smua org sgt2 tekun n bsungguh2...I like :)
Then, at 3pm, kitaorg ada briefing ttg methadone program and hiv programs yg ada kt kuantan ni..then, balik uia..smpai imc at 450pm...then,kita, aj, wan kd and zarol, pi HTAA utk lawat makcik Robiah, pt kt KK Balok yg ktaorg wat homevisit...bila ktaorg smp je kt ctu, tpancar kegembiraan kt wajah mkcik tu...seriously, this is really2 wat kan sy sgt terharu..eventhough we just cameto visit her for a while, tak sangka doing sumting, as simple as coming to the ward, cn bring a smile to her face :) masa2 cmni la yg mbuatkan kita rasa bahagia memilih bidang ni :) really~ Thanks a lot to AJ, Wan KD and Zarol coz sgt2 baik, sgup pi lawat makcik tu dgn kita wlaupn msg2 kpenatan..korg mmg rock!!! :)
anyway, ni tgh kat meeting rum level 3 KOM, smua tgh berusaha wat part masing2 utk presentation proposal esk pg..chiayok2 smua...go,go C2!!!
P/S- harapan utk 'mkn sdap' tpaksa di-surpress-kan buat smentara waktu,coz sy bz and .......... No possible time for now, even weekend pn takbole gak...sob,sob ;(

XOXO, Me still busily waiting~

Past and Present...

I was a bit surprised when suddenly 'the dark side of my past' comes back haunting me, today..
Hmmm..why..? i really feel that it is disturbing...
I dont want to hv anything to do with 'that past' of my life.. It was a mistake, a foolish mistake, a dark dot in my blessful life...sometimes i regret for having that part of my life...tapi takpe la..life moves on, and so am i...dan saya sgt2 berani mengatakan, saya sgt bahagia skrg.... and i really dont want to hv anything to do with 'it' anymore...

The past was a foolish mistake..
A dark side of my younger years...
A part of my life that i really regret...
The part that i dont want to remember, dont want to know or even to hear anything about it anymore..
The part that i wish that i can delete forever in my life...
The part that really hurts, that had broken my heart into pieces....
Why should it come back to me after several years..after im happy with my present life..?
When im sure of myself, when i'm once again my true self...
I just want to tell 'that dark side of the past"...
It's all over..It's a history and it means nothing for me...
Coz now, im sure of my present...and i really hope to be my future..
My present life is such a bliss...
And I thank Allah for that..
For giving me this present of life.................
A gift that is priceless..one which i'll treasure for the rest of my life...
One that i hope will always be mine, till the end...

On request..shoudl i write about "gossip girl"...?hmmm~

Ada la seorg tu...dia suruh kita tulis pasal myself as a gossip girl..
Hmm, am i really a gossiper...?i dont think so...coz i know i cn keep others' secrets :) hahaha..
Tp kdg2 tu, trasa gak mcm gossip girl, sbb bk jugak la benda yg kita tau...hahaha :P
mestila sbb sy ada sumber yg sgt best ;) hehe..
tq la di atas 'perkongsian' itu...
wlaupun skadar berkongsi gossip, at least ada gk la benda yg di'share'kan...hahaha :P

Anyway, disebabkan permintaan (eceh,eceh..perasan la tu..xde la permintaan sgt pn...skadar percakapn je rasanye td tu...), this is what i cn write, as a gossip girl, who has been all the way along what u two have been going...to the both 'he' and 'she', this is for u :)

Other people may say that ur life are far apart...Two different worlds collide with another...
So very different from each other...
But the differences have been keeping U both together up until now...
Other peope might have said, U both are not suitable for each other..
But, what really suits the both of U, it's up for U both to decide....
Some people might say U are better than her, while others might say U deserve better than him...
But, really, it doesnt matter at all...coz they dont know both of U,
as much as U know her...as much as U care for him...
as much as she knows U...as much as he cares about U....

Mcari satu persamaan dlm seribu perbezaan...
Mcari ketenangan dlm kegelisahan...
Mcari kebahagiaan dlm kesamaran..
Mgkn tak mampu dinilai dgn cuma kata2...
Kerana mainan perasaan, adalah suatu yg tak pasti...
Mungkn dgn keyakinan hati, serta diiringi ikhlasnya doa drpd jiwa yg suci....
Sebuah mimpi bakal menjadi suatu realiti........

(U both = korang berdua la... U = him, U = her)
So, kpd korang berdua, I wish both of U, all the best tau...I'm always on Ur side...hahaha :P
P/s : sori la kalu tersinggung membaca post ni...this is what i really to tell to both of U

XOXO, still here alone but not lonely..

A day full of .....

This is about yesterday...smlm mmg la tsgt penatnye...disebabkan cwu tak siap,seminar pun xprepare, i didnt get enough sleep pn,cuma sempat tido kul430 smp 630..haha..dh la time tido tu mimpinye horror...mmg xnyenyak tido nye...so, esok nye tu, iaitu semalam pg, seminar pn dipresentkan dgn ntah ape2 je la...byk yg kita tak tulis, so, membebel la sorg2 kt depan tu..haha..kesian kat mrk2 yg mdgr..

Then, i tried to print out my cwu kat library,tp, malangnye, disebabkan matrc card xbwk,jdnye, xbole la nk print...waaaaa..stress btul..time tu dh pk mcm2, kt mana nk cr tmpt print lain,sbb library tutup kul12..seminar ktaorg start kul 1030 smp dkat2 pkul 1..huhu..tp, luckily, wan kd ada mjadi my heroin for that day,...kita print je pd wan kd...n she xnak kita bayar pape pn...baiknye ati wan kd..thanks byk2 ye wan kd :)

Then, ptd smlm ada islamic input..lpas je abis islamic input yg agak2 lama n xfaham sgt tu, maka sy pn pulg ke bilik dan apalagi, call mama n bergossip...haha...setengah jam tu duk berborak dgn mama...best sgt2..dh la dh lama xbalik umah...rindu sgt2 nk balik umah..

Hmm..ptgnye sy pn kluar dgn keadaan yg tiba2 n tergesa2 n sgt2 thrill sbb at the time i went out it was already 530, and we are supposed to be back at 6pm..hahaha.bygkan la betapa lajunye smua benda terjadi time tu..memang pecut abes la kira nye wlaupun xberapa pecut pun sbb most of the time tersangkut dlm jam...akhirnye, we only managed to be at IMC at 630pm..haha. stengah jam lambat...habis la..habis la :P
Anyway, tq ye :) really enjoy the rush~

So,malam nye, apalagi tido awal la..hehe...ni yg terbangun di kala subuh pn belum menjelma kerana terlebih tido :P hehehe..

XOXO, Yesterday is a day...

Arini g PSR =psychosocial rehabilitation=program sillaturrahim...hehe :) best sgt..sronok dpt tgk pt2 kt situ...kitaorg (budak2 kk balok) dpt pt nama kak musalmah...best sgt..hehe..kitaorg tlg kakak tu,dia pilih gambar2 dpd paper then ktaorg tlg dia tulis apa2 la yg bkaitan ttg gmbr2 tu...sronok la :)
Hmm...dlm pd tu, dsbbkan pjalanan pegi balik lma gak la, so, spjg pjalanan tu, apalagi, kita pn tido+berangan+berangan lagi spjg pjalanan tu...hahaha...
Hmm...nape la kita suka berangan ni...hmmm...

spjg pjalanan tu, terasa la kesepian, kesunyian, kesorangan...
betapa kosongnya hdup ni, bila insan yg memahami diri ini tiada bersama...
Bila tiada rakan2 yg sama2 memahami diriku ini, tiada di sisi...
Betapa diri ini terlalu merindui ,masa2 yg telah berlalu...
betapa diri ini mengharapkan semua yg berlalu sblm ini, berulang kembali, menjadi kenyataan..
bukan nya sekadar khayalan mahupun kenangan silam, kenangan yg tak mampu diri ini lupakan...

Tp, there is this one song yg sgt2 bermakna yg kita nyanyi je spjg pjalanan tu..haha.mcm org gila nyanyi sorg2...haha..
Why this song..? coz it really shows what i really hope to have..what i really want in life...and at the same time, it really tells that a girl is just a girl, not a perfect person....
This is the song, TAKDIR CINTA, Rossa...

ku tutup mataku
dari semua pandanganku
bila melihat matamu
ku yakin ada cinta
ketulusan hati yang mengulir lembut

Penguasa alam tolonglah pegangi aku
biar ku tak jatuh pada sumur dosa
yang terkutuk dan menyesatkan cintaku
andaikan ku bisa lebih adil
pada cinta Kau dan dia
aku bukan nabi yang bisa sempurna
ku tak luput dari dosa

biarlah ku hidup seperti ini
takdir cinta harus begini
ada Kau dan dia bukan ku yang mahu
oh Tuhan tuntunlah hatiku

penguasa alam tolonglah pegangi aku
biar ku tak jatuh pada sumur dosa
yang terkutuk dan menyesatkan cintaku

"dia=....." hahaha..my dear frenz ( u all know who U are,kan...) so, i think u all know sape 'dia' dlm lagu ni :P

XOXO, still dreaming, dont want to wake up yet...

Life & Love ~

It has been a while since i wrote anything on this blog.... Why...coz kita malas sgt2...sbb kita bz ( yeke bz...? hahaha) paling utama, sbb utama nye ialah...jeng,jeng,jeng....xtau nk ckp passal apa lg dh...haha...all the issues yg slama ni slalu kita tulis dh smakin subside...hahaha...dh jd less, and less important in my life...hahaha (ye ke makin 'less important'...?rasa ke'important'an nye kekal sama, malahan smakin bertambah...haha)
tp arini, i want to write in this blog, sbb, kita dh nampak sumting yg sgt2 special....
i saw what is love...real love...hmm..cinta sbnr, bukan skadar cinta yg bermain kat dpn mata...bukan skadar cinta yg bsandarkan pd kehendak hati, jiwa, nafsu semata2... i saw what is the real meaning of love....

How a guy really looks in a girl's eyes, and says " u are everything to me" without saying any word..
How a guy really smiles for a girl, how he really cares and how he really shows that she means the world to him....
How he really loves her, with all his heart, eventhough he does not say it out loud...
How he plans ahead for her, and includes her in everything in his life...
How he really wants her to be his, in the future, forever....

Ini memang a real love...bukan nye sekadar kisah dlm buku crita dongeng...bukan nye crita snow white or cinderella...bukan nye crita titanic pun...tp this is a real story...
and i hv the chance to see it live, in front of my eyes...
Mmg sgt2 sweet..
Mmg mcm fairy-tale,sweet sgt2...comel sgt....
I really2 hope, one day, i'll hv the chance to hv that kind of love...
For a guy to love me,whole-heartedly...
To be in his future, to be in his life, to share everything, anything....
But, to have such a great guy, with such a great love, i'll have to be a very good girl...which i really doubt, bolekah diri ini jadi a good girl...?? Hmmm.... That's a question for me to ponder...

XOXO, to be or not to be.....

Miss them sooooooooooo much...

Dah lama sgt kita tak tulis blog ni...huhu..bz kot..
Tp i want to write arini sbb nak simpan kngan ni...
Pg td, ari raya yg ke 4, sgt bermakna bgku...
Kitaorg one family pergi ke muar...cari smula abg kpd arwah atok, yg lama dh lost contact...
dh btahun kitaorg tak pegi umah tok jamali tu...

• Arwah atuk and arwah nenek dh takde, so, kitaorg slalunye balik raya stakat sehari saja memandangkan kitaorg mcm dh xde kg la...
• Abah dh hilang sim card yg lama so smua contact number sedara mara yg mmg disimpan dlm tu, ilang bsama2...
• kesempatan takde...kitaorg msg2 bz...nak balik mlaka pn susah, apatah lagi nk ke muar...
• Tp, sbb skrg kitaorg dh bpindah dpd serdang ke melaka, jd, kitaorg berusaha sedaya upaya menjejak sedara mara yg dh lama xjumpa...

so, today is a very memorable day...kitaorg smpai kat umah tok jamali...alhamdulillah, tok jamali masih sihat, wlaupun dh smakin tua,sgt berbeza dgn the last time that i saw him, about 14years ago...tp, apa yg sgt terkesan di hati ini ialah, how much tok jamali resembles arwah atok... Smuanye sama...rupa dia,gaya dia, senyuman dia, cara cakapnye...semua nye sgt sama...and benda2 ni membuatkan sy sgt2 sedih...

bcoz, i miss atok and i miss nenek sooooooooo much...i miss them sooo much...kehidupan tanpa mereka mmg byk beza nye...i wonder how it would be if they are stiill around...tp saya tau, Allah lebih menyayangi atok dan nenek....

Td pun, i almost cried when kitaorg dh bergerak pulang dpd umah tok jamali... apa yg saya fikirkan waktu tu, was that, will i ever hv the chance to meet tok jamali again..coz tok jamali lah saudara terdekat yg masih ada yg berhubung rapat dgn arwah atok...

And at that time, baru la kita perasan betapa cepat masa beredar...dah 7tahun atok pergi meninggalkan kami...dah 6tahun nenek pergi meninggalkan kami...betapa aku terlupa, betapa cepatnye masa berlalu...rasanye baru semalam atok berkata padaku "ni yg buat atok lagi sayang ni..." tatkala aku mengambil kan segelas air buatnya waktu atok sdg berkebun.... rasanye baru semalam aku nenek memanggilku, "ayu, ayu...meh sini nak..." ketika aku baru pulang dpd sekolah.,...

Ya Allah, tempatkanlah arwah atok ku, Abdul Rahim b. Pa'ee dan arwah nenek ku, Patimah bt. Salleh di samping org2 yg beriman, Kau ampunilah dosa mereka, Kau cucuri lah rahmatMu buat mereka... Al-Fatihah~

P/s : i miss them so much...

Hari yg semacam...

1.arini dh ari ke-3 dermato...baru jumpa dgn dr anis...td baru la dpt skit 'cahaya' ttg kehidupan dlm posting dremato ni...hmmm.mcm best bila ada doctor mengajar...mcm tak best bila xde sape yg hiraukan aka terbiar tanpa bimbingan aka berdiri je tercongok kat clinic dermato tu tanpa hala tuju...tp mcm syok jugak la...maybe sbb dr anis pandai bcakap, mbuatkan kita rasa nk jd rajin ckit utk blaja dermato ni :)

2.rasa2nye mcm nak gi shopping lg la ptg ni...weekend ni dh puasa..n my geng utk bershopping sgt bz kat kg pdg tu...so, tpaksa surpress keinginan tu shingga abis puasa nnt
;( sob,sob~ maybe shingga abis raya,coz raya nnt mst bz nak beraya sakan!!!

3.i heard sumting td..sumone told me sumting...xtau nak percaya apa...coz slama ni, i believe in sumting else...tp tadi, kita tahu sumting...and i dont know how to respond...hmmm...situaisi nye begini...apa anda rasa, jika, anda ingatkan kreta yg anda sygkan slama ni adalah kreta yg best sgt2...tp rupa2nye, kreta tu, kreta 2nd hand...? ( btul ke analogy sy ni...mcm pelik aje bunyik nye....)
btw, ni xde kaitan lgsg dgn WNU ksygn saya tu...WNU, i love u :D

So, what should i expect?hmmm...surprisingly, i should not expect anything at all!!!!
XOXO, Me, Confused...........

does smile=health?

Arini terasa sgt kesorangan...huhu..ntah nape ntah...
sunyi sgt...

td masa baru balik ptg td, sumone tegur and said " wada nape nampak xsihat?" and out of nowhere, kita memarahi that girl,by saying that she made her own assumption....she tried to defend herself and she said, 'wada smakin kurang senyum..."
hmmmm, does xsmile = xsihat...? or does smile=healthy...? i was puzzled...still am..
ntah la...i'm sorry coz kita jawab dgn penuh kekasaran td, but, really, i was not in a mood to chit-chat about how do i look today......
kesian sgt to that girl, kita tau yg dia try to be friendly, to be a concerned fren, to tell that she cares...tp, im sorry, maybe its the way u said those words...maybe the timing is not right...but, most probably, maybe it's just me.......
ntah la...lately, i'm becoming soooooooooooooooooo moody...
nape pn tak tau la...
maybe i hv to go back to see mama,abah n adik2, to recharge my happiness level back to normal...
so that i'll smile more frequently...so that, no one will say that kita ni xsihat.....
anyway, i'm looking forward utk pulang ke rumah weekend ni...nak gi hari peladang (as what hs been suggested by Mama, then pegi maen bowling...best nye..best nye )...
but somehow, i hv to write down what i feel...............

i dont understand what i really feel...
but this feeling just cant go away...
it's hurting me so much..
every second of my time..
i cant take it anymore.......

(but i think, the main reason is that, i miss those smiles, i miss those laughs, i miss those jokes, i miss those time that we spent together...i really hope to have those moments back...so that i cn once again be happy, so that i can once again smile and laugh wholeheartedly, so that i will be my 'old' self back.....)

XOXO, Me, dont know why...

Weekend yg bz berjalan2 :)

Bahagia nye ada kawan2 yg sgt2 baik ni...they hv brightened up my life :)
Now i can smile once again :)
I can already accept that even though sy 'terpisah', mereka tetap ada di sisi utk diri ini..
Thanks a lot...cyg korg semua :)
It's not that i dont hv other frenz, i do, and i do love them too, but, sbb dah terbiasa bersama all the 5 of them ( u know who u r) ,sy terbawa2 rasa kesunyian,kesorangan ni...tp xpe, now i'm already my old self back :)

hehe :) my weekend ends with a smile on my face...
ari jumaat petang, lpas tido dgn penuh kebahagiaan spjg ptg tu, kuar g anta kwn g klinik...cian dia...kna kuarantin smpai skrg...she is still hving low grade fever...plz pray for her, hopefully that she'll recover asap, insya-Allah :)
then, malam tu, kuar gi makan kat santai dgn nad,azi, us...sedap sgt mkan lasagna kat ctu...nyum nyum :)
esoknye, pagi tu temankan hana n ehem2nye gi megamall...plan asal she asked me to temankan dia beli headphone, then plan berubah, terpaksa la kita join je mereka berdua..haha :) sy menyibuk je dlm mereka berdua memilih2 headphone tu :) ala2 chaperone gitu ~

then ptg tu, kuar dgn mucuk (jetul) g ber-ronggeng...syok sgt!!!! hihihi :)

then pg td, dikejutkan oleh cik jetul, dpt mkn nasi lemak ma jetul yg best sgt2...sedap~ i like :) tq mucuk :)

my evening, masa utk bershopping!!! kuar dgn us and nad...mula2 kitaorg gi ecm, mkn kat kfc, then jalan2...then temankan diaorg cr brg2 utk ke sg lembing...hehe :) best sgt dpt jalan2 :)

This week, mereka ( jetul, nad, us,azi,.....) akan ke sg lembing ...i bet i'll miss them all so much...uhu :(

but, i've promised to myself, that i'll study hard sepanjang ketiadaan mereka ni....

then bila mereka pulang, i can enjoy once again with them..yahoo!! :)

XOXO, Me, happy..

Lamakah lagi ....?

Tak larat...seriously, dah tak larat...
cmne nak hadapi hidup slama setahun ni..
cmne nak harungi semua ini, sendirian...keseorangan...
tak sanggup lg idup penuh kesunyian mcm ni ...
tak sanggup lg idup penuh kekosongan begini......
bayangkan, takde teman berbual...takde kawan nak berkongsi masalah ataupun nak bergelak ketawa mcm slalu....
ntah la...ntah la...


Cmne saya nk blaja kalu saya tak de smgt lgsg..takde perasaan lgsg...
Cmne saya nak blaja kalu hati ini kian memberontak...makin memberontak setiap detik..setiap saat...
Tak larat...tak sanggup... tak kuasa...
Ya Allah.. Ya Allah.. Ya Allah...
Berikan diri ini kekuatan...
Kerana aku dah tak sanggup lg mengharungi segala ini...
Kerana diri ini mmg lemah, tak kuat utk menempuhi segala ini....

XOXO, Me, I cant bear it anymore ~

Memetik kata2 seseorang, idup mesti diteruskan :)

Setelah menjalani weekend yg penuh aktiviti bershopping :

• Jumaat - Gi parkson + megamall beli handbag,2 baju for baby and rahsier~
  
• Sabtu- Pagi2 dh gi picnic kat TC... Then,gi KP, beli girlie things, blouses and shawl~
• Ahad- Hari dimulakan dgn gi pasar tani utk beli food for breakfast...pastu,gi makan2 kat tempat yg dikatakan sgt sedap, tp rasa nye, cm biasa je...nasib baik la ada org ngaku ygb mknn aritu cm biasa je..hehehe :) tp syok la, coz dpt jalan2, mkn kropok lekor yg sgt sedap and duk di tepi pantai, makan cempedak goreng and minum air kelapa...

Tapi arini, 3rd of August 2009, mula lah episod pertama dalam diri ini menjalani ari2 sebagai 4th year medical student...

• Kita start dg posting radiology...pagi2 ada briefing dgn Prof. Arif about specialized posting...then, gi HTAA, ada briefing lg about our radiology posting..huhu...then, Dr.kamariah ckp, ada pre-test..hadoi la~ dalam keadaan diri ini yg blank n tak tau pape ni, maka sy pn main hentam sajalah soalan2 itu...
• Then, we hv to go to sumthing like seminar, tajuk 'kursus keselamatan radiasi'...huhu...sgt mengantok...bayang kan...1st day in the posting n u hv to attend that talk...xpaham apa pn..huhu..full of technical terms...at last, after lunch, kitaorg cabut, pegi ke JHC
• Then, at 4pm, ada kelas lagi..huhu..

Penat sungguh...memang sgt2 penat...
Tp, xpelah...
I have to be strong...
I have to face all these...
Even though i'm alone...

Sedihnye...sedih sgt2...
Sunyi sgt...
xde lagi gelak2 cam dulu...
xde lagi jokes cam dulu...
xde lagi spending hours just for eating lunch kat tempat yg syok (pak akob's)
xde lagi usik mengusik...gossip menggosip...

Yg paling saya rindu kan...kawan seposting yg lepas... Jetul,Nad,Azi,Us...My motivator...

But, quoting from someone, hidup mesti diteruskan...
Yup, U're right...
Hidup mesti diterus kan :)

XOXO, Me, Alone and Lonely

Esok exam..

Huhu..esok exam psychi yg memang psycho..
Hahaha :P xbaca pape pn..rasa mcm sgt relax...smlm time crita pd mama yg esok exam, she was like terperanjat gak coz i didnt tell her earlier about it :p
Sori mama, ayu mmg malas sgt nk bc psychi tu...susah n bnyk sgt perkataan sehingga mbuat ayu ngantok tiap kali ayu baca buku tu :p sowi sgt...mlm ni ayu study ya :)
Hehe :)
Anyway, i'm not in 'exam mode' pn skrg ni...more of 'shopping mode'.. :P
Nape ye?? haha :D bak kata jetul "Rahsierrrrr..."
Hehe :)
Anyway, kita mmg tak sabar nk abis exam esok...coz, then, petang nye nak gi shopping!!!
Yeay!!! (shopping is my motivation to endure this very stressfull exam tomorrow)
Syok nye..syoknye...
BTW, kawan2, dis friday is bonuslink members day at parkson :) so, silalah bershopping esok...
Ur bonuslink reward akan digandakan sebanyak 5kali!!!!

I cant wait for tomorrow :)
Anyway, doakan kejayaan kami semua dlm exam esok k:)
To all my dear 10th batch frenz, chiayoq for exam esok...
We all can do it :)

XOXO, Me, Studying and shopping.

1,2,3.... A,B,C...

It used to be as simple as 1, 2, 3.....
U start to count, then i'll end it up.....

It used to be as easy as A, B, C....
I start to spell, then U'll read out the words...

But now, is it still the same....?
Yes... and No....

Yes, we still count 1,2,3 as what we used to do...
but,
No, now we have to add, substract, times and divide the numbers,
making it all very difficult to solve...

Yes, we still say A, B, C as what we used to do...
but,
No, now U make sentences out of the words, but I prefer the words to rhyme....

Can we sort all these things out...?
Or is it just me...
Maybe it's only me...

I'm confused of the equations...
I'm confused of the sentences...

but, more importantly...
I'm confused of You & Me....

XOXO, Me Counting and spelling...

Yesterday Was Superb !!!!

Semalam my previous grup posting kluar bsama2, gi main bowling n makan2...best sgt2....
That was the first time kita main bowling...syok sungguh...wlaupn bola tu asyik masuk longkang, tp, best sguh melambung bola tu ke dalam longkang :P hehehehe :P
Lpas bergumbira bmain bowling, kita, jetul, farhah n anaman telah bjaya memujuk bad utk blanja kitaorg ice cream mc-D...nyum nyum...thanks a lot bad :)
Then, lpas solat mgrib, kami smua pn pegi ke new horizon...it's time for makan !!!
Hhehehe :P best sgt2...
Then, we all bg ucapan ala2 ucapan perpisahan gitu :P hehehe :P time tu rasa sedih gak la, tp, dont wori...ada 2years lg utk kita smua bsama2...even dh tak sama posting :)
Then balik...lalalalalala ~ bahagia sungguh :P






XOXO,
Me, Happy, so happy....

What if it's true...?

Semalam there was a statement by my very dear fren, hmmm, mungkin betul apa yg dia kata,,,mungkin betul sangkaan itu...tp, apa yg harus kita lakukan, coz i think, and i feel that, i'm already trapped in this 'curse'............
Apa yg harus ku lakukan....i dont think that i cn move forward...but still, i cant erase what's in my mind, and in my heart....
Quoted from a song by my favourite singer,Jamal Abdillah, " Oh Tuhan, tolong lah aku..."

Keep On Going ~

Dah dekat sebulan tak tulis blog ni...
Huhu...rasanye byk benda nak crita, tp dont know where to start la :)
Ok, lets begin from the last time i left this blog a.k.a b4 exam y3b4 aritu...

1. Exam aritu mmg horror, tp, alhamdulillah, dah pass the exam :) hehe :) best sgt...sgt2 bersyukur coz dah berjaya pass exam ong yg mcabar tu...

2. Cuti after exam yg pendek aritu, mmg sgt membahagiakan....i spent most of my time at home, with mama, of course...maka bermula lah episod nyanyian ku di rumah, kita akan menyanyi pd tiap mase.Time bgn tido,time iron baju, time sidai baju, time memasak, time tgk tv bila ada iklan2 kat tv tu, time bukak pintu bila abah balik kerja, pendek kata, hampir stiap masa...smua org kat umah tu asyik je senyum dgn lebarnye bila kita menyanyi...(maksudnye, suara kita sgt2 merdu, smpai mama rindu bila kita dh balik ke kuantan ni..hehehe ) Hahaha :P

3. Time cuti tu gak, dpt la ikut rombongan meminang..anak buah kita ( son of my kakak sepupu) nk bertunang, so, kita ikutla...mmg syok...meriah sgt...tiba2 je terpikir, alamak, diri ni dh tua, cmne ni...maybe takkan ada such event for me nnt..huhu..cmne ni..cmne ni...adik dh ada abg cyg nye,tp mama dh ckp awal2, xde langkah bendul...so...ertinye...maknanye...kita dulu????owh. no!!!!!!! Tolong!!!!! Then the clock starts ticking, tik-tok,tik-tok.................

4. Then, cuti pn abis..huhu..maka pulangla diri ini ke kuantn dlm misi ku memburu cita2..hehe :) dh 4th year dh skrg...tp, yg sedih nye, dah terpisah dgn most of my previous posting frenz....dah tak sama grup dgn jetul, nad, us, azi, fadhil, nizam, syaify, etc...huhu..sedih sgt2..even tak sama grup dgn 'u know who'...owh!!!! NO!!!!NO!!!! i cant imagine how i'm going to survive this 1 year...huhuhu..sedihnye..tp, luckily, my new grup posting ada jut nagn mijah..hihi :) cayang korang..

5.Ok,starting 4th year ni, subject nye, forensic medicine..best sgt2...rasa mcm nak jd CSI lak..hehe :) inilah masa nye segala 'pengalaman' menonton CSI,CSI Miami,CSI new york, yg mmg kita minat mjadi sgt bharga...hehe :) best la...but, at the same time, each time the doctors show the slides, i feel sedih sgt..hiba pun ada...cmne la mnusia bole jd sekejam itu...

6. Disebabkan kelas for this week cuma pd 8.30am till 12 pm, petang adalah free...hehe :) best nye, coz dpt ronggeng sepuas hati...tp bila dh tak tau nak wat ape, contohnye mcm skrg ni, mmg tak syok lgsg...huhu...makanye saya pun asyik la mjadi pseudoroomate G2.4...hahaha :) nasib baik la mereka ni baik, sentiasa je menerima kehadiran diri ini..hahaha :P

Ok, esok, i'll try to write sumthing lg la...hehehe :P bila dah start menulis blog ni, mmg tk bole nak stop...till next time, bubye...

XOXO, Me , Boring n lonely..

My Days~

Windunye dah lama tak tulis blog ni...

Huhuhu ~ knon nye bz la... tp sbnrnye takde la bz sgt pun...

I'm just trying to 'focus' on study, coz exam is just around the corner...

But still, they are a lot of interesting things that happened last week :)

1. Last week was a very bz week...bz nak completekan logbook..mcm2 yg terpaksa dikorbankan (esp my precious sleeping time.huhuhu~ ) Alhamdulillah, dh submit pn yesterday...


2. The first time that i really sleep at the hospital...( sblm ni pernah skali stay kat low-risk tu, tp, xtido pn...hehehe :p main2, borak2, gelak2 je spjg malam while waiting for the patient to deliver...tp last saturday night, i sleep kat musolla low-risk sbb xde org nk bersalin pn...)


3. First time in my life, bila kita tgk 2 jenazah baby yg baru lahir...siap dikapan...ada kat hi-risk...
Huhuhu :( sedih sgt2.... coz, baby spatutnye lahir dgn mbawa cahaya kegembiraan for the parents and the family...tp, aritu, ada 2 intrauterine death, then bersalin by SVD.... sedih sgt...i was very sad ( n seram sgt tgk ada 2 jenazah baby kat tempat baby tu), and i couldn't imagine how the mothers felt........... Ini semua dugaan Allah...kita tak tau, but He knows the best for us, kan..? Sblm ni pn, kita ada dgr, if a baby dies, then the baby will wait for the parents kat syurga nnt...kita tak tau sgt, tp, for those yg tau, plz let me know, ya?

4. While waiting for doing CP, there was one Chinese man, yg baru je lpas tgk wife dia bersalin kan anak sulung diaorg...He was very excited at that time, dia sgt2 teruja to see pengorbanan istri dia, yg sgup susah payah lahirkan anak mereka... This is quoted from him, " Smua lelaki spatutnye tgk istri bersalin...baru la tau btapa besar pengorbanan istri tu... Yg penting, istri dan anak sy slamat..." Wah...best nye...best sgt if dapat a husband who really appreciate the wife...I'm hoping for one in the future, insya-Allah..hehehe :P doa byk2 k....

5. A lot of other small2 things that matter to me... Betapa penting nye nilai persahahabatn... Betapa tingginya nilai kejujuran... Betapa bermakna ny kasih sayang dalam hidup ini... But, let these all be memories, that i'll treasure for all my life :)


Btw, malam ni, my ward grup, (me, Jetul, Azi, Nizam, Syaify, Fadhil, Hazri) nak pegi makan2 kat santai...hehehe :) to celebrate the time we hv spent together at the ward...melalui susah senang bersama, dlm mengharungi kesukaran zaman O&G bersama2 :) hehehehe :) i'm looking forward for tonite....

Hehehe :)

Btw, i'm missing my family sooooooooooooo much...tak sabar nak balik umah after exam ni :)

But, yg penting, kena study rajin2 utk exam ni... Chiayoq!!!!

P/s: My motivator, awak tu dh terlebih pandai, bagi la kita kepandaian, serta kerajinan awak tu...hehehehe :) n, keep on being my motivator, k?

XOXO, Me, Study & strive for exam....

Why...oh why...?

Pernah tak terasa macam satu dunia ni sedang menghakimi kita..?
Pernah tak terasa mcm org lain sdg menghukum diri kita...?
Pernah tak terasa macam nak lari drpd dunia ni...atau pn jd invisible..?
So that takde org bole nampak kita...takde org bole jumpa kita...takde org bole tegur kita....?
Pernah tak terasa nak tinggalkan segala2nye...? Just give up everything...?
Pernah tak terasa macam takde sape pn yg bole faham diri ini ( except for mama...love u very2 much, mama)...

That's what i feel right now..............
That's what i feel right now.............
I'm helpless...living in this whole wide world....
I'm helpless and alone.....
Dont know what to do...
Dont know what to say....
Sedih sgt2...........sedih sgt2.............

Mama...
ayu rindu sgt2 pada mama...
ayu nak sgt2 mama ada dgn ayu skrg ni...
ayu nak sgt2 duk dgn mama skrg, coz ayu tau, cuma mama aje yg dpt faham ayu..
Cuma mama aje yg bole ubatkan hati ayu ni...
Cuma mama aje yg bole wat ayu kembali seperti sediakala...
Sbb hanya mama aje yg tau apa yg ayu rasa...
Sbb hanya mama aje yg tau cmne nk rawat hati ayu yg tak tenteram ini....

Lagu Jamal Abdillah ni really potrays what i feel right now........

Di dalam suasana indah ini
Dadaku menahan sedih pilu
Terkenang dikau tiada
Untuk bersama diriku
Sedang orang lain bergembira
Ku menumpang senyum di balik duka
Terbayang wajahmu di muka pintu
Bagai menyatakan sesuatu....
Apakah di saat ini
Ada rindu menyentuh hatimu
Bayangkan aku di sini
Menghulurkan salam untukmu
Maafkan segala-galanya
Keterlanjuran tak dilaku
Berderai airmata tak ku sedar
Mengenang kesilapan masa lalu
Di saat ini ku rasa insaf
Oh Tuhan ampunilah dosaku

XOXO, Me, Dont know what to think

Weekend oh weekend ku~

Arini mmg sgt best...hehe :) coz it started with sumthing yg sgt2 menarik...kenangan satu malam yg pnuh gelak ketawa...coz what happenend malam td mmg syok..Best sgt2...smpai tido pn kita asyik teringat kan apa yg berlaku malam td...hehehe :) tp, bak kata jetul mucuk, "rahsia......."
As for this morning, cm biasa la...bgn dgn penuh kebahagiaan slepas dpt berbual pjg dgn mama kat fon...then, pegi mkn lunch dgn nad...hehehe :) mulanye ajat ati nak mkn kat pak akub patin house....tp disebabkan kedai tu tutup, kami pergi la lunch kat sara thai...huhu ~
Then gi ECM lak dgn nad...jalan2 n shopping~ Best sgt :)
Tp, malam ni belum ada pape plan...nak ajak sape lak nk gi kuar makan dinner malam ni, eh..?
Hmm...nad dh bg green light nk kua makan malam...tp nak ajak kwn2 lain gak la... the more the merier, kn..? hehehe :)

Me, XOXO, rigth here waiting...

Pelangi..oh Pelangi ~

Saya sepatutnye membaca buku skrg, tp tak dpt tumpukan perhatian la...

Hmmm...knp eh...?? I think i know why...

Td tiba2 aje terdengar lagu "Pelangi Petang" by Def-Gab-C

(yg asalnye dinyayikan oleh Sudirman)..........

Ni liriknye~

Ku meniti awan yang kelabu...

Ku tempuhi lorong yang berliku...

Mencari sinar yang menerangi, kegelapanku...

Ku percaya pasti suatu masa...

Sang suria kan menyinar jua...

Membawa harapan yang menggunung, bersamanya...

Engkau tiba bagaikan pelangi...

Tak bercahaya namun kau berseri..

Tapi cukup menghiburkan, hati ini....

Seharian waktu bersamamu

Tak terasa saat yang berlalu

Bagai pelangi petang kau kan pasti, pergi jua...

Semua kata2 dlm lagu ni mmg betul, sgt tepat dlm menafsir perjalanan kita skrg ni....

Mmg sgt menusuk jiwa.........

Tak tau la nak ckp cmne dah, tp it suddenly comes to my mind,what we hv now is just like pelangi petang kan........

We hv fun together,we spend our time just to do silly things, but we really enjoy ourself......

Tp nnt, bila dah abis study, all these will be a history for us.......Huhu~

Sedihnye bila pikir that we just hv about 2 years left to b together.........

P/s :

I think i hv 'a pelangi petang'..sumone who's always there for me.......

Tp bila difikirkan semula,kita rasa sedih sgt2...tak tahu mcm mana nak buang kesedihan ni jauh2....

Sbb...

Nnt bila masanye sampai, mstilah dia akan kawin...kan?

Bila dia dah kawin of course la isteri dia takkan kasi kitaorg baik cm skrg...kan?

Even kita pn for sure akan menjauhkan diri dpd dia bila dia dh kawin,tkkan la kita nk jd penyibuk dlm rumahtangga org....

tp....who would be my motivator then...?

I dont think I cn find anyone better in such a limited time...

then, at that time, siapa akan ada di sisi kta, sprt dia slalu lakukan skrg...

So, bole tak kita nak wish..?

I wish for " Pelangi pagi,petang,siang,malam.."

Plz.....................

XOXO, Me, wishing for the rainbow..

A day of nothingness~

Hmm...smalam malam kita baru smpai Kuantan...bersama smangat yg berkobar2 utk menempuh kehidupan dlm posting O&G yg tgal bbrapa ari aje lg ni....dah recharge smula stelah spending the weekend with my family~
Tp arini....huhuhu..kekecewaan melanda semula...
Wahai posting O&G, adakah anda mmg ditakdirkan utk meruntun semangat ku...
adakah aku yg tak cukup kuat utk menempuh posting ini....
betapa payah nya buatku utk meneruskan langkah ini...
ditambah dgn rasa kekecewaan dan kesedihan....apa yg aku mampu lakukan lagi....
Takpelah, ada 2 minggu lagi...
Takpelah, ada byk masa lg....
Takpelah, ada peluang lagi....
Tapi buat hari ini, aku terasa aku telah kalah dgn prasaan sedih dan kecewa ini...setelah apa yg kuharapkan berjalan lancar, tak membuahkan hasil sperti yg aku idamkan.....
Mungkin esok adalah hari yg cerah buatku~

Kebahagiaan:)

I'm at home...wah, bahagia nye dapat duk umah..seronok sgt :) mmg full dgn program la...tp the main agenda is.... SHOPPING :p
ok...lets start from bertolaknye saya dpd kuantan...this is in chronological order :

1. Ptg kamis, kul 5.25pm, sy bertolak dpd IMC...setelah meminta tlg sumone ( jetul jgn gossip kita ok), that sumone pn dgn baik atinye menghantar kita ke terminal...nasib baik sampai on-time, kul 5.55pm...my bus is on 6.00pm...jd nye, sempat la.. Btw, thanks sgt to the one yg antar kan kita ke terminal ptg tu :)

2. Sampai umah around 10.30pm coz that bus lalu jlan yg dh dkat with my house..abah dh tunggu dh kat tepi jalan tu....

3. Then berborak+bcerita+bgelak ketawa dgn mama smpai kul 3.30am... huhu..cian mama tpaksa tido lewat, tp best sgt dpt bcerita mcm2 pd mama...thanks a lot mama :)

4. So on friday, after wat keja umah apa yg patut+ tgk tv, sejurus slps abah balik umah, saya dgn baik ati nye berkata dgn penuh kecomelan," Abah,jom kuar pasni...kita pegi shopping ya..?" Disebabkan abah baik ati serta tak mahu melihat anak ny ini kecewa, walaupun abah penat keja seharian, abah tetap menurut aje kehendak ati anaknye ini...hehe :) thanks a lot abah :)

5. So off we go....first, we went to buy me a few blouses..pegi to a few shops..hehe :) penat mama ngan adik2 tlg kita mencari blouses that like...at last, i bought 3 blouses...itupun after mama dh tunjukkan around a hundred blouses to me...sowi..ayu ni mmg leceh nak wat pilihn...

6. Then, i want a new pair of shoe...we went to jusco lak....stela berjalan2,i found the oe that i want...cantik sgt..hehe :) sy pn membeli nye, tanpa menghiraukan harga yg terpamer di tag nye... ( al-maklum la, scholar dh masuk, maka i dont boher much upon the price...mmg tak berwaspada...)

7.Then, i bought my mama a pair of bonia shoes yg she likes so much...hehe :) seronok rasanye dpt belikan sumthing for her....

8. Baby pn nak cari kasut baru...so, we went for a new quest, to find baby shoes that she likes and fits her....after a while, we succeeded :)

9. Then we went to dinner to a place yg mama nak pegi...hehe :) nyum nyum... slepas semua kenyang, we went back home for zZZzzzzZZZZ :)


That's basically what happen on kamis and yesterday...so what's the plan for today?

• Waiting for adik to come back from UIA gombak...she will be send by Zharif, my future bro-in-law, insya Allah...hehe :) lucky her to hv sumone to send her back home..
• Then, we will all went to lunch outside,i'm thinking of going to malim ikan bakar..sedapnye...
• Slepas zharif balik,we are going to do what i love the most;SHOPPING~ tak sabarnye..

So, that's the plan for now...ok..i've to go mama dh pnggil suruh makan breakfast kat bawah...as prepared by Ija...Ija mmg anak yg baik....pagi2 dh bgn wat breakfast, not like me yg bgn pg n went staight to the laptop n writing my blog.hhehe :) thanks ija :)

Pelik la...Memang pelik~

Td pg i hv the chance to clerk an aborigin ( org asli dlm kata yg lebih sopan), 21 years old, primigravida....her chief complaint, preterm labour....
But, what's interesting about our 'conversation' this morning was when it comes to Family History....
This girl told me, mak dia lahirkan kesemua 12 adik-beradik dia kat umah, disambut oleh ayah nye (wah,hebat sungguh pakcik tu, bole cnduct delivery more than medical students hv to conduct in O&G posting....)

Tp, that's not the story yg wat kita tertarik...it's about what the OA do to the placenta......

She said, " ada yg tanam uri tu, tp kebanyakan nye akan gantung uri tu kat luar rumah..."

I said,in cool tone, " Gantung? Gantung kat luar rumah....?" (though i was already shock at that time sbb uri tu kan ada bau yg pelik, ditambah dgn keadaan nye yg berdarah2 tu....xkan la nak wat 'perhiasan' kat depan umah...)

She anwered, "Mmg gantung kt luar umah...kat bawah pokok ke...kat mana2 la....janji uri tu digantung sblm matahari terbenam..."

I ask her again, "Knp kena gantung sebelum matahari tbenam..?"

She said, " kalau tak, ia akan makan nyawa ibu yg mengandung tu..." ( she means, the mother who hs just giv birth tu...)

I was quite terperanjat gak la dgr penjelasan dia...mcm mana lak uri tu nak makan nyawa mak tu..?
So, wanting to know more, i asked her further, " Pernah jadi ke? mak tu meninggal ke disebabkan uri tu..?"
Terasa mcm crita seram lak...takut gak la...

She said, " Adalah..dulu2....mula2 mak tu akan sakit dlam perut...lepas tu, lama kalu xdiubati, uri itu akan mkan la nyawa ibu itu...."

Huhuhuhuhuhuhu ~

I tried to reason out why do they hv such practise...Mungkin:

1. Diaorg gantung uri tu kat luar rumah- easy for them to see if the placenta is complete or not...bole tgk the chorion and amnion layers, & the cotyledons....any infarcted area or not.... kat luar umah kan lebih terang compared to dalam umah ( as u all know,they all live in very small houses but sooo many people inside one house) so, kt luar mst la lg senang nk wat inspction of the placenta...to ensure no retained placenta in the uterus..........

2. Diaorg gantung sebelum matahari tbenam- for the same reason, mtahari provides the light for them, especially in very rural area where they dont hv electricity...so,kalu check the placenta waktu malam, u may hv missed anything...maybe the membranes are ragged but u couldnt see them properly..so, there is risk of complications to develop post-partumly...

3. Diaorg percaya if tak gantung uri tu sblum matahari terbenam,mula2 ibu tu akan sakit dlm perut...lepas tu, lama2 kalu xdiubati, uri itu akan memakan nyawa ibu itu- where the complication arises as the retained parts of the placenta cn cause PPH, and as we all know, PPH is the number 1 cause of maternal death in Malaysia.....

Kalaulah kita semua dpt bg kesedaran pd mereka..
"bukan uri tu memakan nyawa ibu..tetapi, disebabkan ada lg bahagian uri tu yg tertnggal,ia akan mnyebabkan pendarahan slpas bersalin... yg mungkin membawa maut..."

They should be told that if not managed/treated properly ( stop the bleeding, resuscitation, transfussion etc),it will cause death.....they should not go to see bomoh or pawang coz they'll only jampi...nothing much for the woman if she is only treated with jampi....

Memang nampak pelik..Tp,itulah kehidupan....kita semua berbeza....

That's just my opinion....
What do u think....

XOXO, Me, differently...

A Very Interesting Monday

Hari ni mmg sgt menarik....

1. Setelah berusaha sedaya-upaya, CWU yg 'tercinta' berjaya diselesaikan, pd jam 6.30pg...hehe :) ngantok punya pasal, i went to sleep sampai kul 9.30am, so, pegi hosptal dh lewat sgt :P

2. Kmudian pegi antenat, cari2 pt utk cp dgn doc hakim pg esok....huhuhu :( xde pt pn kat antenat tu....

3. Ptg td, balik dgn jetul then mkn2 goreng pisang n ABC kat cafe :) hehe :P spanjang ptg tu kita mengusik dan menyakat cik jetul smpai merah padam mukanye.... sowi jetul...kta kan mmg suka kacau jetul....

4. Setelah berusaha gigih ( tipu betul, x gigih lgsg...) mlm td dpt la clerk sorg pt G5P4 at 38wks, GDM with breech presentation...itupun stelah saya menumpang waktu on-call nad ngan us serta meminjam pt farhah :) thanks a lot nad,us, farhah.....

5. The most interesting part of today is, i managed to see twin delivery- 1st cephalic presentatn, 2nd breech..the first baby dilahirkan dgn vacuum tp bukannye vacuum kiwi yg slalu nampak kat lowrisk tu.ni metal vacuum..mmg very interesting....however, i think sum complication may hv arise, as the review from paeds doc suspected fracture....huhu...harap xde jadi pape pd baby tu..the 2nd baby seems to be normal.....

6. Yg paling seronok about today is that, while waiting for the patient to giv birth to the twin, kitaorg duk berkumpul kat depan tu, sambil berborak2, duk mengata 'sedara-mara' siapa la yg jd 'nurse yg plg disygi' kat hi-risk tu...Lg syok bila Salam dtg membawa kcang nye and offer to everyone...hehehehe :P klakar sgt (",)

7. I'm supposed to be reading for my cp esok pg (takkkkuuuuuutttt nye!!) but, here i'm writing about my day...ok...ok...cukup la ni...kena semangat and baca for cp esok~

P/s- lagi kelakar bila kita dapat tau a 'new definition' of the all-time-favourite "CP"...hehe :)

XOXO, Me, "CP" baby.....

Bila kebosanan ditambah dgn kemalasan......

I was so bored tonite so i just surf the intnt to read anything interesting (i should be reading 10 teachers, tp disebabkan kemalasan melanda diriku, i choose to read ' stories', sebenarnye love stories and poems)... Then i came across this story... I think it's interesting, so i just put it up in here.. Hope u all will enjoy the story :)

Best Friends' LOVE STORY ...



10th grade:
As he sat there in the english class, he stared at the girl next to him. She was his so called 'best friend'. He stared at her and wished that she was his.
But she didn't notice him like that, and he knew it.
After class, she walked up to him and asked him for the notes she had missed the day before. He handed them to her. She said 'thanks' and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
He wanted to tell her and he wanted her to know that he doesnt want to be just friends, he loves her but he's just too shy.....He just kept it in his heart....


11th grade:
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart.
She asked him to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so,he did.
As he sat next to her on the sofa, he stared at her soft eyes, wishing that she was his.
After 2 hours, one movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep.She looked at him, said 'thanks' and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
He wanted to tell her, he wanted her to know that he don't want to be just friends, he loves her but he's just too shy, and he doesnt know why.


Senior year:
The day before prom she walked to his locker.
"My date is sick..He's not gonna go" she said.
"Well, I didn't have a date," he replied..
in 7th grade, they made a promise that if neither of them had dates, they would go together- just as 'best friends'.
So they did.


Prom night:
They went together as 'best friends'....
After everything was over, he was standing at her front door step. He stared at her as she smiled at him and stared with her crystal eyes. Then she said, "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave him a kiss on the cheek
He wanted her to be his, but she doesn't think of him like that, and he knew it. .
He wanted to tell her, he wanted her to know that he don't want to be just friends, he loves her but he's just too shy, and he doesnt know why.



Graduation day:
He watched as she went up on stage to get her diploma.
He wanted her to be his, but she doesn't think of him like that, and he knew it. .
Before everyone went home, she came to him in her smock and hat, and cried as he hugged her. Then she lifted her head from his shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks"..
She gave him a kiss on the cheek.
He wanted to tell her, he wanted her to know that he don't want to be just friends, he loves her but he's just too shy, and he doesnt know why.

On her wedding day:
He went to her wedding ceremony.
That girl is getting married.
He watched her married to another man and drive off to her new life..
He wanted her to be his, but she doesn't think of him like that, and he knew it. .
But before she drove away, she came to him and said "Thanks,you came!".
She kissed him on the cheek.
He wanted to tell her, he wanted her to know that he don't want to be just friends, he loves her but he's just too shy, and he doesnt know why.


A day passed, then a week, then a month, then years passed by...


He looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be his 'best friend'.
At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years.

"I stare at him wishing that he was mine; but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.I wish he would tell me he loved me!
'I wish I did too...' he thought to himself, and he cried....


So, what do u think.? As for me this story totally contradicts the well-known quote
that says " if u love sumone, let him be free...if he's for u, he'll come back to u..."
When u love sumone let him/her know, so that u'll not regret it in the future... Hehehe :)

XOXO, Me, still wondering....

Sabtu..Sabtu... Kesunyian di kala hari minggu ~

Arini sabtu yg tak productive...malas sgt nk wat pape slain tito :)

Tp, tghari tadi kuar makan lunch ngan hana & wani...

then, kuar smula gi ECM ngan hana, dh lama tak kuar berdua dgn hana sejak hana dgn 'ehem-ehem'...hehehe :) windu lak time dulu kitaorg slalu bsama....

Then balik dekat kul 4....maka bermula lah episod kesunyian kesorangan diriku di kala ujung minggu............ Hmmm, tak tau la knp tp kita mmg tak bole duk sorg2...tp mungkin jugak disebabkan apa yg terjadi sepanjang minggu ni..........
1. CP tak bergerak2 lagi..masih di takuk lama....

2. Case write up tak start pn lgi.....huhu...malas nye.....

3. Buku log tu byk nye yg masih kosong lagi, procedure tak wat, c-sec pn tak abis tgk...

4. The most important reason,hmmm...mungkin disebabkan apa y dah terjadi spjg mgu ni kot..

Org yg slalu ada di sisi di kala diri ini perlukan semangat, kini smakin berubah mjadi seorg yg sgt berbeza...

seolah2 dirinya melarikan diri dpdku...

seolah2 dirinya tidak mengenaliku...

seolahnya kami cuma kenalan biasa sedangkan dia teman karibku.............

Apakah diri ini telah terkasar bicara padanya...

Apakah diri ini telah mengguris hatinya...

Tolonglah....tolonglah kembali seprti asalnya, di mana kita boleh berbicara tentang apa sekali pun.......

kerana diri ini tak mampu utk terus begini...

kerana diri ini perlukan kata2 semangat darinya....
kerana dia lah yg sering memberikanku keyakinan dan kepercayaan utk terus memandang ke hadapan dan meneruskan perjuangan di kala diri ini dalam kegelapan..................................

There is one song " Careless Whisper" whick keep on playing in my head thru out this nite...hmm, lebih kurang sama je with my situation right now.........Kan???

Careless Whisper

I Feel So Unsure

As I take your hand

And lead you to the dance floor

As the music dies

Something in your eyes

Calls to mind a silver screen

And all its sad goodbyes

I'm never gonna dance again

Guilty feet have got no rhythm

Though it's easy to pretend

I know you're not a fool

I should have known better than to cheat a friend

And waste a chance that I've been given

So I'm never gonna dance again

The way I danced with you...

Time can never mend

The careless whispers of a good friend

To the heart and mindIgnorance is kind

There's no comfort in the truth

Pain is all you'll find

Tonight the music seems so loud

I wish that we could lose this crowd

Maybe it's better this way

We'd hurt each other with the things we want to say

We could have been so good together

We could have lived this dance forever

But now who's gonna dance with me

Please stay.....

At this time around, i need my Mama coz she'll know what should i do.... but i dont want to bother her with my problems.........Mama, ayu rindu sgt pd mama...

So, what should i do...........

XOXO, Me, sunyi dalam keseorangan....

1st Time to Write :)

This is my first post for my bog :)

Yippiee!!! I have my own blog now.... To write what i feel, whenever i want to :)

But, for the first time, let it be sumthing sweet... hehehe :)

I'm thinking of writing this blog after reading Jetul's and Mijah' blogs just now :) sgt2 menarik sbb diaorg dpt kongsi what they feel and what happen in their lifewith others :) furthermore, it seems so menggoda, terutama nye pada saya yg sememangnye suka pada perkataan... Hehehe :)

So, here i am, writing for my blog for the first time :)

Just now i was reading my novel, the one that i keep on reading for more than 5 times, as i like the story, as well as the words inside it, hehehehe ;)

Tajuk nye " the fifth daughter"-

Basically it's about a girl, abandoned by her rich father, who has a bestfren ( a guy, of course)....she is always involved in trouble and he is always there to solve the problems for her....she doesnt realize that he loves her, until it is too late... then the conflicts arise, but, of course, the ending is that,the girl finds true love in him.. Wah,wah.. Sooo romantic... hehehe :)

This is from the novel -

Love is like wild rose briar....

Friendship is like the holly tree...

The holly is dark when the rose briar blooms...

But which will bloom most constantly...?

So, what do u think...

Do tell me your opinion, ok....

XOXO, Me, the first daughter :)