An evening and a question~

Arini, in the evening, i went to umah Pakcik Zainol, a friend of abah..
mula2, mintak tlg pakcik zainol and his son,
betulkan WNU yg terkopak bumper depan nye disebabkan kelalaian saya..
hehe..pakcik zainol bwk gi pasar malam Sg Isap..then to his house..i ate my dinner there, pakcik zainol masak ikan patik masak tempoyak..sedap sgt..kenyang sungguh..thanks pakcik :)

oho..
yg nak dicerita di sini, bukan la sesuatu yg best pn
cuma nk menyatakan apa yg bermain di fikiran ni td..

when i told mama about this..
and crite pasal pakcik zainol ni ada 5 anak,  4sons + 1daughter..
the eldest, final yr medic @ indonesia..i think, sebaya kot..
yg lain tu, of course la lebih muda dpd saya..walaupn hensem2 belaka..haha.

when mama asked me sumting, saya dgn pantas nye berkata, "xpela.."
ohho..saya sgt takut..sbb slalu nye, apa yg kuar dpd mulut mama adalah benar..
hoo..tak mau..tak mau..

just want to say that,
walaupun saya berada di sini, di mahallah maimunah M7, di kampus indera mahkota, iium kuantan...
hati saya tiada di sini, bonda...
ntah ke mana ia pergi pun, ayu taktau..
dpd aritu dah hilang, sampai skrg ni masih belum dipulangkan..

huuuuuuuuuuuuuu...
and i wonder, cmne la saya bole hidup selama ni, without my 'hati'...???

Teddy bear ni yg curik hati saya rupanye!!!haish~

well said~

I am a beggar.. and a choosy one...
but as the words say :

well, what does that mean..?

i have to stop being choosy....

or do i have to stop begging....?

either way......

i just cant change who i am..

this is me..truly me.............

Sing a song~

Arini saya sangat malas..
belaja ntah pape..
haha

oho..sebelum terlupa...
smlm tghari..ada yg suruh dgr lagu nurul yg dulu2...sedap katanye..
bila dtanya lagu mana, tak dijawab pula soalan saya tu..huhu
haish haish..saja je kan =P

so, nak plih lagu la kalau cmni...

of course la kita pilih lagu ni (walaupun rasa nye bukan la lgu n yg dimaksudkannya..hehe)

Cinta Azali
Semenjak mula kita bersua
Bergetar rasa di dalam jiwa

(tipu tipu..takde ye getaran cinta di jiwa!!)
Apakah ini tandanya
Ada janji antara kita

(tiada apa yg dijanji, cuma apa yg diimpi~ haha)

Setiap hari kita berdekatan
Rasa hangatnya kemesraan

(oh, langsung tak pernah dekat..jauh!!)
Bila kita berjauhan
Gelora jiwa kerinduan

(oh, bukan bukan begini..)
Kita bersama terus kembara
Jauh ke taman asmara

(tiada taman2 ni..saya rockers :P)
Di sana cinta berpadu
Menjadi satu oh... oh...

Demi cinta suci ini
Kurnia dari Illahi
Biarpun ke lautan api
Sanggup diharungi

(yg ni paling best,kan..?)

Memang sudah suratan azali
Kita dipertemukan di dunia
Sehingga kita kembali
Bertemu semula di syurga

(it is not a crime to have a dream like this kan..?walaupn 'syurga' itu mcm terlalu exagerrated) 

lgu di atas ialah pilihan saya..
tapi....
rasa2nye lagu ni kot yg dia suruh dgr..    KERANA TERLUKA~
sbb lagu ni mmg glamer dulu2 masa kecik2...tp la, ini lagu sedih la..tak mau lagu sedih2 ni...
kena happy je slalu kan :P 

Kerana Terluka
Beratnya rasa hati nak melangkah pergi
Tetapi apakan daya aku terpaksa
Buat kali terakhir inginku mengucapkan
Semoga dirimu berbahagia selalu
Tentang diriku ini
Terserah padaMu Tuhan menetukan...

Tak perlui kau bertanya ke mana ku pergi
Pandailah aku menjaga diriku ini
Sekali kumelangkah oh biarlah ku teruskan
Perjalanan ini walaupun sendirian
Hanya Tuhan yang tahu dukalara hidupku ini
Tak terkata, aduhai sayang...

Ku masih lagi teringat
Bicaramu yang terakhir
Pedihnya hinggamenikam kalbu
Bisanya...

Selamat tinggal sayangku
Selamat tinggal kasihku
Aku terpaksa pergi dahulu
Kerana terluka hati ini

Kiranya tempias membasahai jendelamu
Itulah airmata yang jatuh di pipiku
Kiranya sang bayu menyentuhi paras wajahmu
Oh itulah rinduku yang menyebut namamu
Setelah sekian lama tak jumpa

ok..saya nak baca buku..paeds protocol perlu dihabiskan..walaupn buku itu kelihatan sprt telah dibaca byk kali...ada highlight yg cantik, mcm ada colour code siap, tp bukan saya..saya ni malas lagi last-last :P

Bukan kisah saya 1

Selalu kita akan tulis pasal diri sndiri kan..
tp, silalah percaya..
ni bukan kisah saya
ni kisah seorg sahabat saya
yg percaya kan saya..
hmm..saya skrg rsaukan dia..
sgt2 risaukan dia...
exam PRO makin dekat tapi saya tau,hati dia kian tak larat.....
dulu dia ni happy-go-lucky orgnye..
sekarang dia still dirinya,
tapi skrg ni,eventhough dia senyum, jelas terpancar sesak yg ditanggung dlm jiwanya...
saya faham keadaan dia...
cuma...
saya dah tak mampu nk berbuat apa2 nak tolong dia..
saya cuma mampu beri kata2 semangat...
sbb saya tau, takkan ada satu perkataan atau tindakan pn yg bole merawat luka di hati dia....
cuma, saya mahu dia tahu, kami semua di sini sentiasa akan bersama2nya, agar dia kembali ceria sperti selalu...
semoga dia kian tabah menjalani smua dugaan ini...

biar hati bagai di-blender, tp make sure, u must not surrender :)

p/s:ni bukan pasal dia tau..ni org lain...dia sihat sejahtera je rasanye ;) jangan salah faham ye kawan2..

reading..but nothing seems to stay in my mind

sleeping but then i would regret myself..

i dont know why but everything seems to be wrong..
ini salah
itu pn salah
takde benda yg betul..semuanye salah dan silap dan salah lagi..

whining and whining and whining..
as if i have nothing to do..but that is all i can do...
i hate myself for being like this..really hate myself~

people like to say, "everything happened for a reason..."
although i have been patient all these while...
i still cant figure out, what is the sole, main reason for all these.......................
no..
i am not being ungrateful...
but as a human, to err is something 'built-in' within me..
and i just cant figure out all these..
everything happened for a reason, but what is the reason...?
years and years and years...
waiting patiently..
i do complaint, now and then...
but i still waited and waited for the reason that other people talk about..
now, my patience has expired...

and still, i cant find the reason..........
oh well, maybe none is the reason...
people just say so, that make others feel at ease...

haha.. at ease i am!! (mata pandang ke atas, tangan letak ke dada~)
so long~

Mom knows best :)

Kadang2 tu tertanya2..
mom knows best kan..?
but how...?scientifically mcm tiada explaination nye kan..
and i think itu lah antara kebesaran nikmat hidup kurniaan Illahi...
kita smua mempunyai our beloved mum, yg akan sntiasa je tau apa terjadi pd kita,
even if we dont say a word..
and for that, i am really bersyukur..
coz my mama always knows everything about me...
haha..
contohnye tadi, mama bertanya satu soalan yg membuatkan saya caught red-handed..
haha..

i am guilty as charged, mama ;)
tp ayu takde la nakal sgt..just sumtimes, i like to do crazy things...
just as an escapism for this crazy-exam-oriented-days here :P

it is fun, u know...
when mama cakap ini dan itu..dan smuanye adalah apa yg saya tak mention lgsg pn to her..
heee..thanks a lot mama for understanding me, sooooo much..
and i love u sooooooooooooooooo much :)

oh..
tinggal few days left...
and i am starting to miss all these...
seriously....
how could i survive without these things that help me to breathe throughout these years~

saya tau, saya menanti kan masa utk duduk di rumah dgn mama abah..selalu bersama2 mereka stiap masa...
tp at the same time, i dont want to be separated from all these friends of mine...
oh..
hati ni rasa sgt hiba di kala ini bila menghitung tinggal a few days je to be with them all...
lepas ni smua akan bawak haluan masing2...
even some of my closest friends akan kawin, ada yg dh kawin pun...
of course smua akan bz membina hidup baru...
dan yg tinggal nnt cuma la sebuah memori, persahabatan terindah yg pernah saya miliki...
dan i really hope that they will forever be my bestest friends, sahabat dunia akhirat...

dan buat yg kata2 ini tak pernah mampu terucap..

takkan mampu, tak mungkin mampu...

terima kasih utk smua nya...

Ni baru balik dpd kelas..
kepenatan
tp seronok..
sbb arini segar je dlm kelas..haha..xde ngantuk2...
cuma towards the end tu td, dh mula rasa restless..
heee..

arini, dh dpt smula buku2 utk dibaca..
yeay!!Thanks a lot ya..
sori la kita ni mengganggu aje kan..
dh la kepenatan abis kelasnya lambat,
dilarang tido oleh saya sbb saya nk amik buku2 ni..
haha..sape suruh bz je slalu =P
oh, tp sangat comel so takpela kalau tak tido pun, kan....?
hahahaha (mst smua tak faham apa yg saya bebelkan ni..bagus2..)

oh, arini ija dh abis exam..dia balik umah ptg ni, bus kul 6 ptg..smoga slamat smpai umah ye ija...

and today is Dakdik's birthday..

Happy birthday, Adik...

  smoga makin bergaya, makin berjaya dan makin kaya
    ^_^  hehe
bole la blanja kita byk2 nnt bila awak dh kerja, ye dik ;)

oh, ni tgh hyper..
sbb baru lepas makan coklat..

lalalalalalala..

saya suka coklat..
saya suka makan coklat..
 aritu saya beli coklat...
 saya beli coklat utk org2 yg saya sayang ;)
 saya beli coklat utk org2 yg sntiasa dlm ingatan saya..
 saya beli coklat utk mereka yg slalu je ada dgn saya dlm susah dan senang...
 mcm coklat yg slalu je wat saya happy, mereka ni lebih hebat dpd coklat..
 hanya dgn bercakap dgn mereka, hilang smua masalah saya :)
 that's why i love them soooooooo much :)
dah kirim coklat tu pd ija, utk bwak balik umah..
hehe..tanda ingatan dpd kakyu yg jauh ni..
walaupn tak seberapa, at least, dpt kurang kan rasa rindu pd mereka yg jauh di mata, tp dekat di hati ni :) 

tak sabar nak balik umah..
nak jumpa mama abah adik ija ina..
nak happy2 ngan smua org..
nak gelak2 ngan smua org...
miss them sooooooo much :)

p/s: if only life is that simple...i wish for a simple, happy life filled with endless love~

Penagih Kopi Tegar~

Macam horror je kan tajuk..? tp mmg horror pn..
that's me =P
saya mmg penagih kopi tegar..
i need at least a cup of black coffee to make me awake...kalau tak, asyik ngantuk je...
contoh nye ptg tadi..
tido dpd lpas zohor..
bangun2 dh dgr burung2 berkicauan...
jam di handphone (yg background nye i like..haha..xde kena mengena :P) menunjukkan 650..
huuu..cm nk nangis kot..
tido sepanjang malam...
tak ingat dunia...
bangun2 dh kul 7 pg...
huuu

then tgk smula keadaan sekeliling...
rummate masih berjaga..suasana sekeliling pn seolah nye bukan awal pg...
tapi..
tapi..
tapi..
lewat ptg..

haha..
padan muka..
tu la sbb nye kalau tido masa lpas asar...
(tp in my case, i fell asleep since b4 asar lg, so, does it counts..?)

so skrg, terpaksa kembali ke rutin meminum at least secawan kopi...
oh PRO..
oh PRO..
oh PRO..

kalau la PRO exam ni ensem, pasti saya akan bersungguh2 berusaha dlm memastikan saya berjaya 'menawan' nye..
tp apakan daya..
PRO exam ialah exam yg menggerunkan lg menakutkan dan membuatkan saya gundah gelana spjg masa..

Purple ke merah...?

Saya kebosanan
seriously, membaca buku terasa seperti satu kesukaran  bila diri ini bohsan..

maka terhasil lah soalan yg pelik (lagi)...

purple ngan merah, mana lg best...cepat pilih...

hahaha :P
mst smua pelik nape kuar soalan ni,kan..?
sbb saya bosan...
dan sudah pasti la org yg diajukan soalan ini juga pelik...
tp jwpn yg saya dpt, cm biasa la...
buat saya makin confuse..

haish..

perlu tahu eh kenapa soalan ini diajukan..?

jgn salah anggap tau, saya takde niat nk beli pape adiah utk sesiapa..
mana la saya nk dpt duit nk beli adiah2 bagai...haha =P

nk tau tak jwpn yg kita dpt apa...?

mst la purple..
haha...
lepas tu, jawab merah pulak...

hahahahaha :P
jadi, mana satu lg best ni, purple ke merah...?
(nengok, betapa confuse nye kita sampai tulis pn salah warnanye..heee)

I miss my mama sooooooooooo much...
i want my mama..
i want my mama...
i am soooooo sick of being all alone here...
i want to go back home, to be with mama, abah and adik2..
i want to go back home....

When i repeatedly say, i dont care, do u believe that...?
owh, really..?
do u believe that...?

rasanye mcam dah ter-over tulis i dont care la..
but saying and doing are 2 different things, kan...?

how can i NOT care...?
mana boleh la..
xmungkin dan mungkin xkan pernah mampu berhenti utk care...

it is just a sentence yg sedap ditulis dan dikatakan, "i dont care, anymore..."
padan muka pd diri sendiri...
seriously padan muka...
as i usually say..
me with my big mouth, berkata tanpa berfikir and kemudian menyesal..
haha...
dah berkali2 benda ni berulang, tp saya still tak amik iktibar..
and now, padan muka pada diri saya sendiri....
haha..it serves me right...

maybe org akan ingat saya ni bakal menjadi doktor yg langsung dont care about anything..
huuu..jangan salah anggap tau...
i do care..i do.. a lot...
haha..semua yg tertulis sblm ni cuma satu gesaan dan tunjuk perasaan a girl lost in her own world...being alone and far from home, all things seem to cause 'uncaring-ness' in herself...
but really,  i do care ..

Arini birthday Abah :)

Arini ialah birthday abah..

happy birthday abah..

Abah with Baby ~

sori sgt malam td ayu tak call nak wish abah..
ayu tertido..huuu..
alarm dh menjerit2 dah kat sebelah telinga ni, tp mata ni degil tak nak bangun..huuu.

Happy birthday to my beloved Abah..
the one and only man that i am for sure, love sooooooooo much, sampai bila2 pun..

Abah
thanks for always be there for me..
setiap masa dan ketika, bila ayu susah dan senang..
i know, in ur silence u do care, a lot..
and u always have the right words to say..and the right things to do..
to show me, that u love me...

i may not be an easy one, out of the 4 girls..
i am loud...
i talk a lot...
i complaint a lot...
i would say one thing then turn it into another thing.
sometime i can be quite a drama queen..
but most of the time, i am me...

and thanks a lot, Abah, for loving me as u do...
for showing me the world and lead me through the right path, all the time..
for helping me through the seemingly 'unkind-and-cruel' bumpy roads in my life..
for being the strong hand that i hold onto, whenever i am lost..
for being the one who comes with solutions for all the troubles that i made..
for being the one who is there for me,no matter what and no matter when...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABAH..
Semoga sentiasa bahagia dgn mama, sampai ke syurga..
Semoga abah sihat selalu..
Semoga abah panjang umur, murah rezeki..
Semoga abah gembira selalu...
Semoga all the 4 of us, Ayu,  Adik, Ija, Ina akan dpt membahagiakan abah selalu, balas semula semua jasa2 abah, dan dpt buat abah berbangga dgn kami berempat :)
dan paling utama,
Semoga abah sentiasa dlm rahmat dpd-Nya..

Love u always,
AYU

Gambar 10th batch :)

Bangun kul 5 pg..
download a few videos of maharaja lawak malam td..
tengok and gelak2 sorg2..
then bukak fb and blog batch..
save the pics that we took on thursday..
hehe.. i think mstila mama ngan smua kat umah nk tgk the pics kan..
taaadaaaa
ni dia :)

suka sgt this pic :) seriously..after 5 years together, each and every one of us berharap dpt la grad bersama2..
kita doa sama2 ye wahai kawan2 10th batch...insya Allah, nak smua lulus this coming pro exam :)

disebabkan ni blog saya, maka saya nk letak my pic yg dh di-crop kan dpd pic di atas..iaitu:-

Hehe...mama, nampak tak ayu ...? hehe..suka kan..?suka kan..? ^_^ wink wink

All the pics, credit goes to awis :)

ohhhh,,

I am not feeling well, at all...
maybe need to have a break from all these hectic-nesses..
cant eat
cant enjoy eating
cant even see or smell the foods that i used to like, makanan kat Resque for example...
and this causes me to be very lethargic......
huuu
need my mama with me right here right now...

i did call mama smlm, and it helped a bit, at least takde la rasa nak nangis je dgn ke-helpless-an diri ni...
but, being in this state of health, i cant even read my books...

tomorrow, i have a case presentation with Prof Wahab..and in the evening, my seminar with Dr Fadzil

tp i cant read anything at all...
my tummy is the main reason all these to happen...
oh la tummy, jgn la begini plz...
asyik rasa bloated then nausea then start to rumble again and again
then, sakit yg tak terhingga

i tried to be strong tp tummy ni asyik berdegil je 24/7

saya dh nk pro in few days time...
saya nk kena lulus pro ni, my parents are already waiting for me kat umah tu..

di kala begini, terasa betapa berharga nye nikmat kesihatan...
yg mmg slalu saya lupakan...

Kisah Qaseh too :)

Arini, saya rasa kurang stress..
haha..
sbb paling utama, ada Qaseh kat ward tu..(plus arini bz so takde masa nk pikir benda tak penting..)

recently i have written about this little baby girl kan..

she affects me so much that she makes me think of how wonderful life could be...

she was admitted skali lagi ari ahad aritu, kali ni sbb diarrhoea for more than 3 days and she was dehydrated, tak tau la severe mana but the care taker said that her eyes were sunken just before the admission

oh, poor liitle baby girl...
hmm..kalau baby with parents, of course the parents will take the baby cepat2 jumpa doctor kalau baby tu diarrhoea...
but for her...hmmmm...

takpe la Qaseh..at least you made us all happy with your presence ;)
i was told by Len yg Qaseh ada dlm wad..i was clerking a patient..
Qaseh pny pasal, melompat terus sbb excited nk gi tgk dia..
hehe..
she was very irritable in the morning, crying and crying...
in the evening, sebelum teaching ngan dr fadzil, i went to see her again..
dia tido ngan nyenyak nya...dukung pun dia tido aje..comel sgt2 ;)

lepas kelas, i went to ecm..jalan2 jap..
and i bought puding roti..hehe..tamak sungguh..
beli puding roti yg besar..pastu tak abis.hehe

then balik bilik and tido...zzzzzzz

 

Found this masa tgh mencari2 quote yg best utk dibaca..
(nampak sgt saya dah bosan kan..?bukan nk baca buku pun..)

tp, i think betul la kan benda ni..
haha..
of course la it only applies to girls..
so my dear girl frens, beware of the boys out there..
bukan senang nk cari lelaki yg baik kat luar sana...
dont fall easily on boys, tak kisah la betapa baik pun they look...

oh, to my guy frenz, sori la if u all feel offended..
just a reminder..
korg jangan la wat camni, tau..
tak elok la mainkan perasaan girls..
u may not know it, tp kalau rasa macam dh 'termain' kan perasaan any girl, hmm i think, sila la berterus terang..
jgn bagi mixed msgs lagi,k ^_^

daaa~
i dont care, anymore..

Rasanye penyakit tak bersemangat ni makin teruk la..
huuu..
bukak semua bnda pn rasa cam nk menjerit...

i think i know the main cause of this penyakit...
plus ada banyak contributing factors yg lain..

membuatkan saya rasa makin tak kuasa nk wat apa2...

maybe it is time for me to go back home this weekend..
kena recharge semula..
lupakan semua benda yg tak penting dlm hidup ni...

and ini muktamad..
esok tghari nak gi cari tiket, nak balik umah weekend ni..yeay!!!

Pernah tak rasa tak nak amik tau apa2..
tak nak kisah apa2...
lantak la, apa nak jadi, jadi lah..
pernah tak rasa camtu..?
sebab mmg kita rasa macam tu skrg..
tak nak amik tau..
tak nak amik kisah..
tak nak tau pape pn..
lantak lah..
lantak..

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

ntahla..haisyh~

Wake up at 4am..have done nothing since 4am..
lapar..lapar..lapar..
rasa cam nk ajak ija kuar bfast la pagi2 ni..

smalam was a day...
coz in the evening, me, ct nad and wan kd joined 'special teaching' by Dr Hasnur, who was very kind to do class with us plus other students (put, hana, izatul, farah, taan,yuyu, izzati, paan, nizam,lihin etc)
we did short case with Dr Hasnur..
MS, SLE, hepatitis and ophthalmoplegia..

then the 3 of us went to do our short case..tp disebabkan at that time dh ramai visitors, so we just observe apa yg patut..

tapi hati ni terasa..
pilu dan sayu..
we went to renal cubicle in 8B..
and we saw a pakcik there...
bayangkn, he is a Chronic Renal Dz pt, tgh sakit2 but he still can smile when we came around just to observe him...
trima kasih pakcik..mulia sgt hati pakcik..

hmmm..sometimes i just wonder...
can i go on with all these...
to see sick people, day in and day out..
it is sooooo depressing..
especially for me...
sedih sgt2 tgk mereka...
hari2 terlantar di wad..
even though they dont complaint anything, but i can clearly see the pain, the sickness, yg mereka tanggung...
tp masih mampu nak layan karenah medical students like me...

sgt2 terasa sedih watching those pakcik...
i dont know why, but it affects me deeply...
sbb penyakit buah pinggang ni, usually has no symptoms, except cam rasa letih, lemah2 badan, tak larat, and most of them attribute these to their old age..
sedih sgt when most will come at late stage, even ada one of my pt, ingat lg that pakcik, he came at the end stage..(ESRF) sedih..
and they do not know this until it is too late....
hmm..i wish that people will have more pendedahan tentang masalah buah pinggang ni..
uhu..

it is preventable kan..?
at least, if one has develop renal dz but hs been detected earlier,
we can stll delay the progress to end stage renal failure...
and they can have better life, to spend with family... (as i said before, all these pakciks and  makciks are supposed to be at home, around with anak2 and cucu2...and should have more time, and kesempatan utk beramal ibadah...)

entah la...
pagi2 macam ni, terpikir benda2 yg takde kaitan ngan PRO exam..
haish...
i wonder will i be able to endure all these feelings...
rasa cam nak nangis seeing all these pakciks, makciks...
saya rasa cam tak sanggup..
huhu..
tapi kalau bukan saya dan kawan2 saya (we are going for our PRO exam in few weeks time..huu), siapa lagi..
we are supposed to be the 'next-generation' doctors..kan...?

as what dr hasmawati, a neonatologist from hosp raja perempuan zainab said during our class few days back,
being a doctor is fardhu kifayah..

so, as we are already in this field, we hv to do it with all our might...
kena wat yg terbaik...
kena jd yg terbaik...

at least if not the best among the others, be the best for our patients...

so, wada, kena belajar dgn lebih tekun..
kena semangat..
kena kuat....

Kisah Kasih..

Today..
let me write this down..
td pagi dah sedih dah sbb baby Qaseh dah discharged from ward..
may u grow up healthy and strong ye, dear little baby :)

oh..kali ni nak membebel lg..

Pain..
sumtimes pain is not in the form of physical pain..
what if the pain is of a memory which darkens one's life  pathway..
being there, i know that it was pain that i see..
and it was really pure pain...

but do u know, u have many of us still standing with u..
yes maybe we havent felt what u feel..
but do u know that, all the pain that u feel, it makes me feel soooo bad...
standing and staring without me, able to do anything...
at least to lessen the pain...
i'm so helpless to do anything...

just want u to know,
no matter what and no matter when,
i am always here..
at least i'll stand behind u and support u..
although u may not see that...
although u may not know........

Kisah Qaseh :)

This is the story of a cute 5 months old baby girl, named Nur Qaseh..

At 1st, i didnt know that she is an abandoned child..
because she is sooooo cute and comel and montel and tembam and soooo adorable..

she was admitted last week because of rapid breathing for 2 days duration, preceeded with mild grade fever and cough..
she has several admissions before this, according to the caretaker, due to the same complaint..
oh wait..i forgot to tell her personal details..
she has been at one of the Rumah kebajikan here, directly after she was born..
she has not known her mum or dad, at all...

and i guess her name was given by the person-in-charge at that place..
yela, bayangkan, her name pun "Nur Qaseh" kan cm drama popular dlm tv tu..
cuba kita pikir2 la, kalau la drama tu tak popular, mst nama Nur Kasih tu jarang2 didengari..
and for sure, this cute baby girl, would not be named as Nur Qaseh..

yesterday, we have a class with Dr Siti Nur..
and Dr ada ajar kitaorg pasal development assessment on Qaseh..

Her gross motor development is up to her age..
But her fine motor, and vocalization and social development is somewhat lacking...

Dr said that, maybe one of the factor is that she is an abandoned child, so she is not exposed to various stimuli which other babies of her age are exposed to...

contohnya, a baby with parents, will definitely been kissed everyday, the mother and father would definitely show affection to the baby, play with the baby, talk with the baby..

but for Qaseh, she is not exposed to all these kind of things..
so, for sure she is lacking in these area of development..

poor little baby girl..
she is already 5months..
but yet, she shows no interest in toys.
and not even a sound comes out from her
(except crying, bila lepas didukung and nak letak smula di katil, she will cry..dia nk didukung sentiasa..maybe becoz lack of attention and love, she wants someone, anyone to show her that she is important..maybe she just need sumone to be attached to..)

oh, but we all do love her..
and we all are eager to go  to ward everyday to play with her..
and we all terasa kasih sayang dia when she is with us..

a little girl with a lot of love to give..

sorry dear baby girl...
kami smua ni tak mampu nk tolong awak lg sayang..
we are all still studying dear little baby girl...
but we do love u, dearly...
just want u to know..
although u are no one's child..
u are our little baby girl...
will always be..

Kadang jadi malas nk pikir
malas nak amik tau
malas nak ada kena mengena dan malas nak ada pape kaitan
malas dah nk berkata itu dan ini pada semua yg asyik bertanya..

seriously..
penat dah dengar cakap cerita org ini, org itu..
dia ni begini, dia tu begitu..

penat dah nk kisah pasal semua ni..
penat dah nk kisah pasal semua tu..
sbb bila org asyik berkata, saya pasti terasa..
sbb bila org sering mengeji, saya makin membenci...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY Abah & Mama :)

Today, 26 years ago, was the day mama n abah got married..
and up till today, their love is still going on and strong..
because of their love, me and my 3 little sisters are here..
and because of their love too, we are sooooo grateful to be their daughters, as they are the best parents in this whole wide world :)

(and of course, every parents are the best for their children, kan...as Allah has made them the best for us)

All this while, i have been dreaming of the most perfect love in life..
and it is here in front of my eyes...
and from them, i learn the real meaning of love...
of which i wish to have, too, one day...

Love is a journey of 2 persons with one soul..

Love is letting 'me and you' become 'we and us'..

Love is to be who we are and never to be afraid of that..

Love is to share...everything and anything.

Love is to go through happiness and joy with laughter all the way..

Love is to endure difficulties and hardship together, never to lose faith in each other..

Love is to be there together..

Love is to hold on and never let go..

As write this, 

i know Mama and Abah will be reading this..

Here, i just want to wish both of Happy Anniversary..

Ayu has nothing to give to Mama and Abah..

Tapi, Ayu sntiasa doakan kebahagiaan dan kesejahteraan Mama dan Abah..

Semoga Mama dan Abah kekal bedua bersama berbahagia, sampai ke syurga :)

Happy Anniversary Abah Mama..

I love u both soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much :)

Yours truly,

Ayu...

Cat and elephant~

Kucing meow2 ngan gajah n little birdy ;)

Ni ialah kisah smalam..

Ada satu soalan..
Kucing ngan gajah mana lagi comel...????
haha..
i know the answer pasti la kucing..
yela, bila tanya pd org yg suka kucing. mst jwpn nye kucing,
tp pastu tukar jd gajah pulak...
ish ish ish..
buat confuse saya aje la :P

Kelas Arini with prof zabidi..i like :)

Today, we have class with Prof Zabidi from USM..
Pagi2 lg dh bergerak gi hosp.tp xdela pagi mana pn..745 baru sampai kot..
hehe..
and teaching td was like a ward round...
and it was fun..fun..fun....

sgt2 inspired by him...
mmg he is one of the contoh yg menggambarkan betapa being a doctor means that u can reach out for people..the reason why i am here..

tadi dia ada ajar..
for an example, instead of asking
"umur mcm ni, dia tak bole wat ni lg ke mak nye..",
we should say "dia dh bole buat yg ini kan mak nye.."
yes it is the same thing..
but in different approach, and it does matter to the patient n the family members..

i think all that he taught us today mmg sgt2 relevant..
he is a good teacher...and he want us to emphasize the 'human' side of being a doctor..
oh saya sgt rasa seronok td..
mmg mjadi sgt bersemangat nak lulus exam pro ni..
so, kena rajin2 blaja la nmpk nye ;)

Kalau tension di malam ari...apa bole wat..?huu..
banyak nye nk kena baca lagi ni...
baca lagi..
baca lagi..
baca lagi...
uhu..
so, kalau tension malam2 cmni, bole wat apa..?
nak call mama, mama mst la dh tido..
kawan2 smua balik umah, so takde sape2 bole dikacau..
plus bila ada yg fon nye tak bole berfungsi sepenuhnye,maka saya makin tak tau nk wat apa di kala ini..
uwaaaaa!!!

Stage Beauty..i like :)

Semalam tgk this movie for the 3rd time..
sampai2 tertido2 memeluk buku surgery (ditegaskan di sini. buku itu cuma bahan pelukan, bukan bahan bacaan)

haha..
tak tau knp suka pd this crita..
maybe sbb jalan crita dia yg lain dpd lain..
ni crita yg dibuat konon2 mcm zmn dulu2 la..
masa stage performance tu adalah sgt glamour..
masa tu, women are not allowed to act..
so the hero, lakonan Billy Crudop (oh sgt hensem la dia..saya jatuh tergolek2 melihat nye :P) is a beautiful man..he is the one yg jd watak perempuan in the theatres..so dia ni famous la...

Horror kan..?ni pn dh dikira paling cantik la pd zaman itu.haha:P

 and he has an assisstant, a girl. yg sbnarnya suka pd dia..but he didnt see that...

ni la the girl yg suka pd the man-actress..

 nk jd crita, law digubal oleh raja pd zmn itu, membolehkan women berlakon teater and men are forbidden utk berlakon sbg perempuan..
so this guy jd xtentu hala hidupnye..
he only knows how to be a woman and not a man..
and the assistant kemudian nye menjadi pelakon wanita ternama while his life changed from a well-known person into a no-one..

this is the story of how the girl helps him to become who he really is, a man..

hahaha..
hensem kot laki ni..

tu sbb la saya tak jemu2 menonton :P
ok saya pn tergolek lagi!!!

Demam balik umah..but not me :P

saya mmg windu pd mama abah n my little princess kat umah tu..
tp, rasa nye, belum masa nye lg utk pulang ke umah..
maksudnye, saya tak kena demam balik umah lg..hehe

ada beberapa kerja (ni yg dh tulis dlm kpala je, xwat pape pn) nk diselesaikan..
memandangkan saya ni takla sepandai mana, banyak la yg nak dibaca weekend ni..

so, i decided to stay here, and study semampu saya so that nnt bole la balik umah dgn tenang nye..

tp tadi suddenly terasa nk balik umah bcoz almost all the sisters in my posting balik umah this weekend..
tp not me..hehe..

wah wah..tak sangka saya mampu menabahkan diri supaya tak balik umah..
hehe..

takpe je kan...?duk sini pn, at least bole call mama slalu, so, kurang la rindu tu..hehe

anyway..i am waiting for ija's reply, nak ajak dia gi pasar malam ptg ni...
terasa teringin nk makan yong tau fu..tp teringin gak nk mkn nasi ayam boxing..haish~