misery

saya ingatkan saya dah salurkan semua perasaan saya ke arah lain..
rupanya..
saya silap..
silap besar..

saya ingat saya dh berjaya lupuskan dia dpd kamus idup saya..
saya silap..
sjlap besar..

saya ingat dia dh xde makna lgsg dlm idup saya..
saya silap..

kebelakangan ni...
saya selalu rasa sgt letih..
exhausted jiwa raga..
penat badan masih bole direhatkan bdan ni..
tp kalau letih perasaan..?
camne nak buat pn saya xtau..

the past few days have been very exhausting..
setiap kali saya tidur..
pasti nya cuma satu tema aje mimpi2 dlm tidurku..

Dia akan kawen..
dlm mimpi2 ku..
semuanye pasal dia akan kawen..

i got his invitation from fb to come to his wedding..

i heard someone talking (more like bergossip) about him getting married and i pun curi2 dgr perbualan mereka..

i got the invitation card to his wedding..

someone shout out loud in front of my face that dia akan kawen xlama lagi..

and the horror of them all,
i got a phone call from him to tell me that he is getting married..

uwaa
kan horror tu..
sampai aku xsanggup nk tido dgn nyenyak sbb aku xmau mimpi itu berulang2 lagi..

and i think
after all these while, i still cry for all these..
crying for nothing..
membazir kan air mata utk dia mmg xguna langsung..

but i cant help it..
i cant help myself..

dan saya sgt xtau apa yg harus saya lakukan...

i cant sleep well
i cant have a decent dream..
i cant stop myself from crying over him....

even the one dpn mata cant stop me from crying each time i am alone.
i guess.
i still have feelings pada dia...

bodoh wada!
bodoh!!

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