"-.-"

Today..it started to be a very pleasant day..

Bangun tido dgn bahagia nya coz exam dh abis...

Then bersembang2 dgn mama over the fon for almost an hour...as usual, having lots and lots of laugh with mama.. Happy sgt2..we talk and talk and talk somemore..

Then in the afternoon, i went out with jetul..kitaorg gi makan lunch dgn happynya..a new environment to eat and have a blast..walaupun dh beberapa kali ke sana tp still, best gak dpt mkn di situ  :)

Then, after zohor, we went to ecm..as usual, strolling and window-shopping and searching for sumthing for sumone...susah nya nak mencari apa yg terbaik bg org lain if we dont know what that sumone wants..huhu..but we did have fun then..seronok sgt2 berjalan2 dgn cik mucuk ni sorg..dia sgt2 klaka..i laughed almost every minute :p oh cik mucuk, sila la menggembirakan hati saya ni sentiasa~

Owh, and then we went out to buy food at sekilau..nyum nyum.. i bought nasi putih with telur bistik :) likeylikeit :P

Then on our way back to uia, my rummie sms-ed me..saying that mr amin ( my dear ortho lecture that took me for the end-blok exam-viva and long case) was invoved in an accident..huhu.terperanjat sgt2..so kitaorg bercadang nk pegi lawat mr amin..we went back to uia to solat for magrib 1st..luckily, i went and asked cik jut berkenaan keadaan mr amin...cik jut ckp, mr amin is fine..just calar2 and luka2 ckit je ;) alhamdulillah..
so, we cancelled our plan to go to the hospital..

Dlm kegelapan malam td,ada satu plan comel yg telah berlaku...sgt2 sweet...as usual, i managed to watch a very sweet love-story in real life..dua2nya sgt2 comel (ok..sorg comeso me call that person si comel....sorg lg tu cuma si comel tu je ckp comel...yelah, dh sayang kan...smuanya comel..hihi)

So, slpas episod "real-fairytale-lovestory-i-love-u-u-love-me-too" itu, saya pn pulang lah...mengemas2 barang mau ke pengerang for health camp esok pg..plan nye akan bertolak kul 630am..so, smua kena siap2 berkumpul by 6am..huhu..so i planned to sleep early lpas siap2 kemas brg2 smua...

Tp kemudian...

Saya bertanya sesuatu pd seseorg...

Dah saya sgt2 bersedih membaca jawapan nya...

dan saya tak boleh tido kerana itu...

Rasa nak nangis, tp xtau knp..

Rasa nk lari, tp knp perlu saya yg lari...kalau lari pun,wat penat je..baik pergi melarikan diri bersama2
wnu...coz i know wnu loves me sooo much..

Rasa kecewa..Rasa hampa..Rasa sedih yg teramat sgt2..

Rasa tak suka pd diri sendiri kerana mempunyai perasaan yg berkecamuk ini...

Rasa sunyi..

Rasa sepi..

And i know everything will not be the same without the person that i mentioned earlier...

Tp, siapalah saya..family comes first..

And i have to accept it...

Bagusla cmtu...seorg anak yg baik pasti akan menurut segala yg diminta oleh ibu dan bapanya, tanpa byk soal, tanpa byk alasan...

And i should be proud for that...when someone put the family first, meaning that, org tu org yg baik..sgt baik..
Fullstop..

And i hate myself for having this unwanted feeling...

I could not ask dia to stay, dia sgt2 jarang pulang..sgt3 jarang balik berjumpa keluarganya..

I could not ask dia to not go back home, sbb, mom dia is the one yg suruh dia balik..

Nape...?family matters katanya...

(and in my heart says, 'what family matters that u cant say it out loud...?bertunang ke..?ke nak nikah dah...?)

Hmmmm..

And i am the bad character in this drama, trying to hold on to sumone that is not mine...i'm trying not to let go..

Today, it ends so sadly~