menulis lagi

Alhamdulillah..
Walaupun skrg ni sgt terbeban dgn kerja n kerenah HO2 junior yg manjalitis..
Tp..when it comes to my off days..
It was FUN..
Time spent with my family make me happy to th max..
I applied annual.leave on friday,off day on saturday..
And..
So glad that saya berjaya menghabiskan nye dgn famili tersayang..
Jumaat is shopping day with mama n baby..
And today, jalan2 day with abah,mama,adik n baby..ija aje yg xde..kalau x,dh complete our family smuanye ;)

Oh ya..
Rumah kat DPP makin cantik..weee.happy sbb runah tu ternyata jd cantik seperti yg mama idamkan..
Dh around 70% siap kot..
Hopefully la by next month dh bole pindah ke sana..yippie!!

But then...
I'll be left alone here..
Uwaaa.
Xpe.xpe..
Housemanship dh nk abis so..
Sila sabar ya wada ;)

Alamak..esok keja..uwaaa.

P/s:pic si kecik yg tgh tgu tacotao (rasanye la nama bnd tu cmtu) sebelum sambung bshopping.. :p

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till this point of time

Sampai ke saat ini..
Saya dh pasrah dan berserah..
Dah malas nk pikir pasal pape..
Nak kena marah..marahlah..saya pasrah..
Nak kena maki hamun..makilah..hamunlah..
Saya pasrah..

Dan yg plg utama,
I have come to the point of accepting that i'll be forever alone..
Haha..
Sampai umur setua aku ni pn masih xbertemu cinta sejati..
Jadi, terpaksa la terima yg forever alone tu ialah satu kebarangkalian dlm hidup ku..

Bila pikir semula..
Ramai sgt HO yg cantik2 dan still single..
So..kalau mereka yg cantik ni pn.still xjumpa the right one..
Aku...?
Haha..mmg harapan tinggal harapan la kan...

Ntahla..
Rasa sia2 bg hati pd org..
Seriously rasa diri xberguna..

Hmmmm.
My posts are so depressing kan..?
I know..i know..
Tp..
Apa yg saya bole buat..?

I am losing it..in either way..
Apa lagi yg tgal utk diriku..?
Xde pape..

People kept on saying that i look sad..
Though i smile all the way..

When they start to ask, "stress dgn kerja"..
Thats all i can lie to them..
Apalgi yg bole dikata..?
Ntahla..
I dont know..
Does it really show..?
Entahla..

Bila rasa dlm hati semakin tawar..
Apalagi yg mampu aku lakukan..?

Aku mmg bsyukur yg my family n frens are always here for me....kalau x,mst lagi parah..

Ntah la..
Apa la dikenang pd org yg xsudi..
Sepatutnya aku cuba melupakan..
Tp..
Sampai skrg..
Semua nye duk teringat...
Plus..
The question of, "what if..."

Stupid me..

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2 months..baru 2 bulan..?? rasa macam dh 2 tahun!!

I used to b stronger..
Much stronger than this..
I used to be able to go thru my days without worrying of anything that might go wrong..
But nowadays..?
Each n every second of my life seems to be in doom..
What should i do..?
I cant even have a decent off day or annual leave days.. Coz the phone will ring and all the problems would just come and keep on coming..
I dont hv my freedom anymore..
What should i do..?
I dont want to live like this..
4 months is too much for me to bear..
I just cant take all these anymore!!!!!!!

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2 bulan

Arini  dh genap 2 bulan keja dlm department yg the horror of them all..
Ari2 dimarah dan ditengking herdik maki hamun

Another 2 months to go..
Haisyh

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tak patut!

Sgt tak bersetuju pd satu gambar perbandingan yg ditunjukkan oleh satu syarikat mknn kesihatan yg glemer kt msia ni..
Sgt tidak setuju!!
Mana bole dibandingkan?
Mmg kedua2nye insan istimewa..
Tp bukan la pilihan yg dikiri itu utk mengemis...
Mungkin pjalanan hidup insan di kanan itu lebih mudah, lebih senang dan dipermudahkan Illahi..
Sedangkan yg di kiri itu hidup nya terlalu sempit yg menghimpit..

Mana ada sesiapa yg ingin hidup mengemis..?

Mmg la syarikat herb@l!f3 tu nk tunjuk yg insan OKU pn bole berjaya dlm mengedarkan produk itu..
Tp mereka tak seharusnye membandingkan kedua2 nye..
Adalah lebih baik jika mereka hanya mnunjukkan gmbar insan oku pengedar herb@l!f3 itu tanpa membandingkan dgn insan oku di sebelah kiri tu..

Kerana perjalanan hidup mereka berbeza..
Pernahkah mereka tanya insan oku di kiri tu adakah dia memilih utk mengemis...?
Pasti jwapan nye TIDAK..

Ketahuilah,tiada siapa yg mahu hidup meminta2, menagih simpati insan lain..
Tiada siapa yg mahu mengemis..
Dan mengemis itu bukan la satu pilihan..
Dia mungkin sangat terdesak dlm kehidupan yg serba kekurangan yg kian mengasak di kala dunia makin moden dan manusia semakin hanyut dalam dunia ke-aku-an...

Tolonglah fikir sedalam nye sebelum buat caption itu..

Saya sgt sedih membaca caption tu..
Terasa di hati..
Bayangkan jika gambar tu dilihat oleh insan oku di sebelah kiri..?

Betapa hidup nye yg serba kekurangan dijadikan modal utk melakukan produk jualan syarikat tersebut...

Maaf la jika ada yg terasa...
Saya cuma berkata dpd hati saya yg sekecil hama ini.....
Cuma meluahkan apa yg terlintas di fikiran insan yg tak punya apa2 ini...

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Years are wasted..
Throw away all those memories that i've kept all this while..
I am no one to him..
No one..
I dont even been consdered as his friend..

Lonely journey alone throughout these days and nights..

Mungkin aku tak sepatutnye pernah menyimpan rasa..
Atau mungkin sebenarnya cinta mmg takkan pernah aku miliki..
Mungkin,aku tak selayaknya dicintai sesiapa..

No one knows how it really break my heart..into millions of pieces..

Bila sendirian, tiada apa lg yg mampu ku lakukan..air mata turun sederas hujan lebat di musim tengkujuh..

Tak pernah ku pinta apa2..tak pernah..

Cuma tlg jgn sakiti hatiku..
Kita tau kita tak layak utk org sehebat itu..
Siapalah kita kan..?
Rupa xde..pangkat xde..harta lagi la tiada..

Tp..
Kita ada hati jugak walau pun saya serba tiada..
Dan tak sepatutnye selepas ditaburkan semua harapan pd kita, kemudian terus diamkan semuanye...

Langsung xde pape penjelasan..
Kenapa..?

Am i that hina to u..?
Though i am not the perfect girl for u, u cant do like this to me..

Do u know how it hurts..?
Tak tau kan..
Yelah..a guy like u,can always hae any girl that u want..
But that doesnt give u the right to treat me like u do...

Sbb kta bukan sesiapa..
Macam tu ke..?
Coz i am nobody so u can use me as u please..right?

No one know how i feel right now..

It hurts even to breathe..
It even hurts to do my work coz every little thing that i do reminds me of u..
I cant even drive as the car reminds me of u..
Everything reminds me of u..
So silly of me..
Being stupidly in love withthe guy who has never ever care or even bother about me...

Stupid me..
Stupid silly fool of me..

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post nite off yg happy :)

Arini saya off day post nite..
But i am all smile throughout the day..
Alhamdulillah..
Dapat balik umah on time..
Pukul 10.01am saya dpt punch out..hehe..rezeki dpt balik awal..
Then terus call mama..ajak kuar jalan2..memandangkan mata xngantok..
So me,mama n little princess gi ke tesco..
Mula ingat nk kuar makan je..tp..dah sampai sana..
Of course la kami ter-shopping..
Mama dpt beli 2blouses..
Me. .? I buy a skirt..yeay!!
Baby beli 2 helai tudung yg sungguh bright colour nye..haha..
Then we makan lunch at restoran nasi kandar kt situ..harga nye lebih murah berbanding kedai "si molek"..haha
Then..kami pn pulang..
Petang nye..
I went out dating dgn mijah cyg..
Dah lama xdating ngan mijah..sejak saya masuk surgery lg..
And today..we had a lot of fun..
Ber-karok dgn jayanye..
Makan2..
Cerita dan bergelak ketawa dgn gumbira nya..

Then mijah send me home..

Maka saya rasa happy sgt sbb arini post nite yg sgt menggembirakan..

So saya bole la tido dgn bahagia nye ;)
Yeay!!

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Beautiful Life..

Tetiba teringat kat crita beautiful life yg tayang kat tv masa zaman skola dulu..x ingat la masa tu tingkatan brapa..around form 2-3 kot :p
Lakonan Takuya Kimura yg ensem lg macho!!
Tetiba teringat lagu nye yg sgt bersemangat..
Terus google n download..
Dan dgn kemudahan teknologi zaman kini..
Cari gak lyrick lagu nye plus translation in english..
Haha..

So di bawah inilah satu2nye lagu jepun yg saya suka :) yeay!!

Song Name:  Konya Tsuki no Mieru oka ni  
Artiste(s):  B'z  
Drama Title:  Beautiful life
 
 
tatoeba dou ni kashite kimi no naka aa haitte itte
sono me kara boku o nozoitara ironna koto chotto wa wakaru kamo

aisureba aisuruhodo kiri no naka mayoikonde

te o tsunaidara ittemiyou
moeru you na tsuki no kagayaku oka ni
mukae ni yuku kara soko ni ite yo
kakera demo ii
kimi no kimochi shiru made konya boku wa nenai yo

itai koto kimochi ii koto sore wa minna hito sorezore de
chotto shita chigai ni tsumazuite mata shitemo boku wa hade ni koronda

kizutsuite yatto wakaru soredemo ii osoku wa nai

te o tsunaidara ittemiyou
ayashii hoshi no hisomu oka ni
shigemi no oku e to susundeyukou
kegashitemo ii
hajikeru you na egao no mukougawa o mitai yo

te o tsunaidara ittemiyou
mammarui tsuki no kagayaku oka ni
daremo ga minna terashidasarete
kokoro no moyou ga sora ni utsutteru
itsudemo sou yatte warattenaide
kakera demo ii
kimi no kimochi shiru made
konya wa issho ni itai yo

Translate in English

Tonight, On A Hill Where We Can See The Moon

If I were somehow
Able to get inside you
And peek at myself from your eyes
I might be able to understand a few things

The more I love you, the more I get lost in the mist

Let's go there, holding hands
To a hill where the moon shines as if it's burning
I'll come back for you, so just wait there
I won't sleep tonight
Until I understand how you feel, even if it's just fragment

What hurts and what feels good
Is different from person to person
I stumble on a small difference
And again I've taken a huge fall

In hurting you I finally understand, but it's all right, it's not too late

Let's go there, holding hands
To a hill where the strange stars lie
Let's go into the thicket
It doesn't matter if we get hurt
I want to see the other side of that open smile

Let's go there, holding hands
To a hill where the full moon shines
It illuminates everyone
And the designs of our hearts are reflected in the sky
Don't just laugh like always
I want to stay here with you tonight
Until I understand how you feel, even if it's just fragment

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summary apa yg nak diceritakan...kalau la saya rajin.. :p

Dah lama xmenulis..
Banyak nk ditulis..
Pengalaman di ward 4-4 yg horror..
Pengalaman bkerja dgn wardmates yg cool di 4-4 walaupn seram sejuk dgn bos yg superbly menakutkan..

Pengalaman aku yg termuntah di kala kerja..haha..that one is a record!!mmg kna tulis..supaya ingat sampai bila2..yg aku geli tgk benda alah tu!!! Tolong!!!

Apa lagi yg terjadi dlm idup ku..?
Oh ya..pengalaman aku ditolak hidup2 mcm sampah aje..haha..stupid me..

So now lets the stories begin...

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ok tetiba :p

Entri ini tiada kaitan dgn entri di bawah td..haha

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anak pakcik

Dpd cerita kisah sedih..
Baik cerita kisah saya menggatal..haha..
Dduk kat ward 4-4 mmg menggerunkan..al maklum la kan..
Ari2 palpitation mcm nk pecah dada..
Tp since i start tagging day 4..ada sorg pakcik ni admitted for obstructive jaundice TRO cause..
Sadly for him,after ultrasound,ct scan plus ercp plus liver 3-phase..dapat tau yg dia ada malignant liver lesion with metastasis to nodes...
Tp pakcik ni sgt baik..comil aje..
Haha..
Macam atuk2 comel kat kmpung2 tu ;)

And...
Jeng jeng jeng..
Pakcik ni ada anak laki ensem...
Walllaaa!!! ^_^
Ari2 datang keja..mesti akan usyar anak pakcik ni..hahaha...
Siap tanya lg pd pakcik kalau anak dia xde..
N pakcik pn sama je layan kerenah aku yg gatal..siap crita pjg lebar pasal anak dia tu..haha..
Nk dijadikan crita..
Anak pkcik ni bkan saja ensem..malah solat xtinggal!! Masuk je waktu solat,dia akn pi musolla dpn ward tu..
Wallaa!!
Lagi la saya duk usyar si ensem ni sorg..haha..
Dan dia sgt jaga ayahnya dgn baik..sepanjang 2weeks+ pakcik kat ward..dia jaga pakcik dgn sabar nye.. Aigo aigo..
Terus rasa nak ngorat..

Tapi..
Tiba2..
Kulihat dia jalan berpimpin tgn dgn sorg bdak kecik serta seorg wnita mengandung di sisinya..
Sebuah picture-perfect keluarga bahagia...
Uwaaa!! Suami org kot!!!!
Kuciwa saya..
Sob sob..
Maka saya tidak lg meng-usyar anak pakcik tu..

Dan arini..
Pakcik tu dh allow discharge..
Anak nye siap dtg ucap trima kasih pd aku..
Hahaha.
Alahai si ensem suami org..saya bukan buat pape pn..saya cuma HO yg kerja macam hamba abdi/ kuli suruhan saje..

Smoga pakcik sihat..and kekal sihat..
Dan semoga anak pakcik yg ensem bahagia sentiasa bsama kluarga tercinta...

Dan smoga saya....eh..smoga saya apa...? Jeng jeng jeng...
Smoga saya bahagia hidup sendiri...haha

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cute

So cute kan crita si rhino yg dua ekor ni kn..hihi

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bebelan saya

Ok.
This entry is a
non-medical-related bebelan saya..
Knapa..? Sbb saya sering terasa seperti si bodoh yg duk kat sini menunggu bagai nk rak..
So, kalau xsuka dgr pompuan membebel, jgn baca k ;)

Ni psal diri saya yg memang sgt mengong..
Ntah la..sekarang ni sgt rasa frust pd diri sendiri..
Ntah apa la yg saya harapkan..
Seriously selalu rasa mcm seorg pengemis!!!
Knapa..? Haisyh.
Yela..i did try to reach to him since day 10 of my tagging..
Have been trying to restraint myself daripada contacting him since saya balik dpd alor setar masa jut kawin aritu..
Sbb serious rasa mcm org bodoh when i was there, texted him a million times but he just ignored me..
Then jadi cm ni..

Hmm.
Ntahla..

Kadang rasa bodoh sbb dh terlalu lama simpan rasa pd dia.sedangkan sepatutnye amik je peluang lain yg dtg..tp sbb dia,aku xpandang pn yg lain..

Tp bila skrg..?

Lepas habis smua jiwa raga hati dan perasaan ku dicuri, dia biar aje aku cm org gile kat sini..

Yg bodoh nye..?
ME of course!!!!!

Seriously rasa nk jerit kuat2 pd dia..supaya dia sedar..
so that he will never ever hurt a girl's feeling....

P/s: the pic describes him la..who else kan..?

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salam rindu~

Ku bertanya pada malam..
Ku bertanya pada bintang..
Sedang apa kau duhai sayangku.. Di sini angin menyampaikan salammu...
Salam sayang
Salam sejuta cinta dan rindu
Sabar sabar sabarlah sayangku Semua ini kan cepat berlalu Sebutlah namaku di setiap nafasmu
Ku kan datang kepadamu sayang Panggil panggil aku segenap rasamu
Dan rasakan aku membelaimu Pejamkanlah matamu
Dan kau tenangkan hatimu
Dan kau rasakan aku memelukmu Sabar sabar sabarlah sayangku Semua ini kan cepat berlalu Sebutlah namaku di setiap nafasmu
Ku 'kan datang kepadamu sayang Panggil panggil aku segenap rasamu
Dan rasakan aku membelaimu

If only...
If only...
Bole tak berangan ada org nyanyikan lgu sedap ni utk ku...?
Walaupun saya tau,sebenarnya takde sesape pn...

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makan2 di tahun baru :)

Seronok..
Sehari off di kala tagging yg panjang tanpa penghujung dpt dimanfaatkan dgn kluar makan ikan bakar nasi lemak sodaapp!!
Happy faces us all! !

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