My kesayangans..
Selain dpd my family..
Adalah my frenz.
And ni adalah kesayangans saya yg dduk kat mlaka sekarang..
My beloved MAs yg cool n sempoi n best!!
And they r all very helpful and slalu buat kta terharu..
Thanks a lot korg..
Thanks sbb slalu support kta..
Sorry sgt kta xdpt balik mlaka nk jmpa korg before korg pindah..
I am missing u guys sooooo much..
For years..
I used to b d first to wish him HB..
Even masa kawan2 dia buat surprise party utk dia..aku yg tgh ckp over d fon dgn dia..
Tp starting from this year..
I am not d first..
And i wouldnt even wish him anything....
Sbb luka di hati masih bdarah..
I used to be d one yg d first to see all his pics in fb when he uploaded his pics..
Dia akan suruh aku tgk terus if there is any new pics of him yg kwn2 dia upload..
But now...
I cant even see any new posts or any new pics of him in fb...
Nampak sgt kan betapa dia bencikan aku..
Sampai tgk kat wall fb dia pn dia "xbagi"
Nampak sgt that i have been 'block' to see any pics of him..anything about him...
Kepada dia yg tarikh lahir nya pd 9/11/1986
Yg asal dpd pontian johor..
Yg kereta nya berplat "JNL 911"..
This post is dedicated for u..
Happy belated birthday
Thank u sbb dh buat kta mcm ni..
I really appreciate all these experience..
Thanks sbb buat kta xpercaya pada lelaki lg dh
Thanks sbb buat kta hate urself sooooo much..
Thanks sbb buat hati kta kecewa smpai tak terubat.....
Thanks sbb bg harapan setinggi angkasa then lepas tu just ignorekan aje
Smoga u get everything that u want in ur life..
Smoga u get d most beautiful girl to be ur wife..the one who can love u more than herself..the one who can take care of urself, the one who can dedicate all her time to serve all ur need..the one who can share all ur happiness and sadness and be ur sunshine and rainbow all d time...may u and her live happily ever after...and may u get the chance to feel how u have made me feel...
Kalau pn xselama mana..smoga awak dpt rasa even sekelumit sakitnya hati ini dilukai sebegini dasyhat..!
Matilah kau..
Bersama cintaku..
Bawa pergi saja dirimu..
Sampai ke dalam lautan...
A 22y/o chinese male..
Dtg sbb epigastric pain..
Dh gi GP masa pagi..
Given t.omeprazole + t.pantoprazole (???pelik la..knapa nk kena bg 2 ubat from the same group..???)
Dtg sbb still sakit..
Nasib baik comel..
Rajin la aku melayan nye..
Haha
Dia siap tanya,
"awak ni betul2 doktor ke..?"
Aku pn jawab..
"hey..saya dh kerja 2tahun lebih tau.. Knapa lak xpercaya saya doktor..?"
"yeke..?awk nmpak sgt muda...xkan muda2 sudah jd doktor..?
Umur awk brapa..?"
Aku pn jawab la.."eh..saya dh tua la..dh 27 tahun.."
Dia mcm terperanjat
Xpercaya aku ckp..
"oh yeke..saya ingat awk sgt muda..mcm mana mau jd doktor kalau muda2..."
Aku gelak2..
Then dia bole pulak tnya mcm2 soalan kat aku...
Aku kerja kat mana la...
skrg aku dduk kat mana la..
dulu blaja dulu kat mana la...kuantan tu dekat ke dgn ump ke...byk la soalan kpd aku
Haha..
Bole x kalau aku nk perasan..yg dia mcm nk mengorat aku aje sbnrnye..
Haha..
Nasib baik la muka cute..mmg aku layan la..kalau tidak, confirm aku buat muka annoyed..
Haha
P/s: apa kah kaitan nye aku dgn bebudak berusia 22tahun ni smua.. Haisyh la..kalau la tua setahun dua dpd aku,dh aku sahut kmengoratan itu..haha.. :p
Smlm kerja sorg2..
Cover satu ward..
Ward aku ada 3mo..all girls..
Aku n punitha both r MO IKN..
Iman service MO hospital..
But smlm aku jaga ward sorg2..
Punitha has to attend a course of pain managment
Iman MC..
So i was left alone..
Huuuu.
Kes bertubi2 masuk..
Ada around 14-15new cases sampai rasa muak tgk pt..
Huuu.
Pt mmg xsalah..aku la yg salah sbb rasa muak meng-clerk pt
With all d pending issues remain pending..
Aku sndiri naik pening dgn pt smua nye yg sgt ramai..
Ward full ok!!!
Balik rumah..
Membebel2 pd mama..
Membebel2 pd abah..
"ayu rasa ayu kena buli la abah..MO2 IKN smua kena buli la abah..
Smua nye asyik ktaorg aje kena buat..oncall pn cuma MO ikn yg buat..service MO lgsg xpayah oncall..ari ni ayu cover satu ward sorg...syida cover dua ward sorg!!.. "
And abah respond was simple..
He smiled and said..
" xpela akak..ikhlaskan hati..kerja kerana Allah.. Lillahi ta'alla "
"xbole bah..ayu nk ikhlas pun dh jd xikhlas.."
And abah replied,
"boleh kak..mesti boleh..lillahi ta'ala"
Huuuu..
Ntah la..
Mgkn aku sndiri xcukup kekuatan diri utk ikhlaskan hati bkerja dlm stress sprti smlm..
Ni aku kena tido..
Coz esok nk kena kerja..lagi..
Haisyh..
Cmne la nak ikhlas ni..
:( :( :(
i was browsing thru d pics in d whatsapp folder in my fon..
and suddenly i saw a pic of 'dia' yg dihantar oleh 10th batch..
and all those feelings come back..
and all this pain that i feel seem to be real again..
If only i can sleep peacefully tonite..
If only i can totally forget him..for real....
Mungkin kena cari pengganti dia..
Supaya aku dpt lupakan smua sakit dan luka ini.
Ntahla..
Xtau apa lg yg bole aku lakukan..
Doa saja la..
Smoga aku makin kuat..dan tabah..
Smoga aku jumpa lelaki yg lebih baik,berbudi, caring dan mjaga solatnya serta imannya..
Dan yg lebih hensem dpd dia...
Haha :p
ok..
setelah berbulan asyik cerita bnda yg aku rasa comel..
tp...
smlm..
first time aku rasa eh..knapa ni..?
apa yg terjadi buat aku terfikir..
there is nothing going on btwn us..
NOTHiNG
i am just a fren..a good fren..a close fren..
hati aku dh cukup pecah berderai utk aku luka kan lg dgn jatuh cinta lg skali..
which is a big NO for me..
aku pikir..kalau aku nk kawen..mgkn kena kawen je dgn mana2 lelaki yg family aku berkenan..walaupn aku xberkenan...
knapa..?
sbb i dont think that i can ever fall in love again..
sbb sakit nye hati ni mmg sebijik mcm apa yg dinyanyikan dlm lagu "hidup-hidup dibakar" (wah!!cam brutal aje kan aku ni..haha)
hidup-hidup dibakar..
sampai bilakah,bila..
hidup terus sengsara...
kau patuk kan bisa di mata
ketuk pahat di dada..
ok..
xde kaitan lgsg dgn benda yg aku nk crita kan ni..
i was texting with my girl fren yg comel lote, princess biha..
talking about life..and also he was included..
talking about a pic of him that she saw previously..she said it was a good pic..sbb dia nmpak ensem..
sbb my dear biha xingat pic tu ada kat fb ke atau insta..aku as usual la..
tanya je la directly..
after dia bgtau kat mana..
dia tanya aku..siapa yg tanya pasal pic tu..
aku jawab je la,main2 kot..burung2..
he asked againn
and again i anwered, burung2 yg berkicauan kat klinik tu..
then he asked lagi..
aku jawab, magik...
then he suddenly marah..
he really snapped!!
ntah knapa..
dia tiba2 ckp, this thing makes me irritated...
i just said..opss..sorry.sorry..
and dia jawab,
no need explaination, wada
no need to say sorry.....
and i was like???????
and dia mula ckp yg his ex used to do benda yg sama...
but..
on my side..
what did i do wrong..?
and..
knapa perlu nak compare kan aku dgn ex-gf..?
coz i am not even his GF!!!
errrghhh!
geram..
sbb tiba2 kena coz aku buat lawak aje..
jawab burung2 yg berkicauan pn aku kena..
mmg lepas tu he quickly apologize..
mmg cepat he said sorry..
tp aku still confused and puzzled knapa dia tiba2 marah smpai cmtu..?
dah la aku baik..kena bash tiba2 cmtu..
haisyh!!..
dont worry.
i wont fall for u...
coz i dont hv any heart left to love another guy other than the one yg dh shattered and battered kan my heart...
masa zaman medical student..
slalu imagine..
and plan dlm kpala otak yg xbrapa geliga ini..
umur 25- grad n start housemanship
umur 26-kawen dgn lelaki idaman hati..
umur 27-dpt 1st baby and dah start MO-ship
umur 28-planning nak beli umah
umur 29- second child
umur 30-preparation nak sambung master
umur 31-start master program
umur 34-35-jadi registrar
and that was my 10year planning post mbbs..
tapi..
as all of us know..
stakat ni..planning nye cuma dpt achieve pd usia 25tahun..
and no further progress sampai la saat dan detik ini...
hmmm.
sesungguhnya, perancangan Allah utk aku yg lemah ini pastinya lebih baik dpd apa ygaku impikan..
harus ada keyakinan..
harus terus percaya....
cerita ni kisah aritu..
tapi baru sekarang sempat nk tulis...
knapa nak tulis..?
sbb suka nk tulis..
haha..
disebabkan i am working in HKL attachment radiotherapy n onco..
saya sekarang working in ward RT 4a..
staff nurses ward ni smua baik2..
sempoi2 belaka..
n helpfull..
so far,all is well..
haha..
citer nye cenggini..
ada la sorg SN (staff nurse) ward ni, budak baru, muda lg..
comel n soo funny
call her nina..
slalu la gelak2 dgn dak nina ni..
so one day..
she asked me..
"doktor...doktor xsuka ke doktor so-and-so tu..? he is soooo sweet la.."
aku gelak2 je..
and jawab la, "xsuka la..saya xsuka sgt lelaki yg soft spoken ni..saya suka yg ganas..haha.. bukan la ganas mcm penjahat tu..tp nk yg macho la..cam lelaki gitu.."
she laughed and said, "eh doktor ni.ada ke nk yg ganas..?pelik la..
tp kan..doktor so-and-so tu sweet la..soft spoken..putih..specky lak tu"
(dlm ati,eh cam ciri2 lelaki yg dh buat hati aku broken into trillion pieces je tu!!)
so i answered,
"xmau la..saya xsuka lelaki putih..specky...saya suka yg gelap dan macho.."
hahaha..
cam jawapan budak umur 15tahun je kan aku..
haha..
dak nina tu then amik fon dia n scroll inside the image gallery..
dia tunjuk la 2keping gamba lelaki..
sambil senyum2..
dia tunjuk n said,
"kalau cam ni..ensem kan..?gelap jugak..hihihi"
i looked and terus je jawab,
"hmm.ntah la..pada saya xensem..
haha"
dia sengih2 and ckp "ala..ensem la dia ni doktor..abes tu..kalau yg ensem org yg mcm mana doktor suka..?"
aku gelak2..
then terfikir..
hah, nk tunjuk la pic org yg aku rasa ensem yg byk dlm fon aku ni..
"haha..jap eh.."
aku kluarkan fon yg usang ni..
scroll dlm image whatsapp..
then tunjuk kat dak nina..
"hah, saya rasa kalau gelap camni la ensem.." :p
she looked at d pics..
"eh,doktor..ensem nye. ensem nye.. dia siapa? mana doktor kenal dia..?"
hahaha..
aku gelak2 je..
"ensem la dia doktor..mst ada pape ni kan..?
i answered, "no..dia muda sgt la syg oi..baya nina.."
then she puzzledly asked me,
"eh..kalau cmtu..knapa doktor ada byk gamba dia ni..? doktor stalk dia eh..?"
aku gelak lagi..
xkuasa la aku yg dh tua ni nk stalk org kan..
"dia yg anta gamba pd saya.."
nina lagi btambah confuse..itu la yg dpt aku baca dpd riak muka dia..
"eh..knapa dia anta gamba dia pd doktor kalau doktor xde pape dgn dia...."
i smiled..shrugged my shoulders..
and walked away from nina..
dia sempat lg ckp,
"naughty tau doktor ni.."
haha..
apa la yg aku bole buat..
dh dia rajin nk send pic to me..
kta xkisah je..kta send pic mknn aje pd dia..
haha..coz i like to eat!!
:p
waffle!!
yg superbly delicious..
stiap ptg mst rasa nak makan..
selera besar..duit pun kena la besar..ngahaha..
maksudnye kena rajin locum la utk menampung kos sara hidup yg tinggi kat sini..
haha..
sepatutnya kena kawal makan supaya bole kurus..
tp...
tp.....
tp........
saya mmg suka makan..
ngehehe..
sedap tau waffle kat sini..
mmg bole termimpi2 keenakannya ;)
waffle stop at alamanda putrajaya..
sedap!!
especially utk.org yg suka makan waffle yg gebu lembut panas2 with ice cream..
wahhhh..
nyummy!
