Masih aku terasa...

It has been more than a year..
And I really feel that I have moved on..

But..
No..

Once in a while..
Out of nowhere...
I'll dream of him..
As if nothing happens and we r still as close as ever...
And when I wake up,i feel so depressed with myself..

I haven't been thinking of him dah lama dah..
Sejak dduk kat ED Hosp Melaka..
I managed to delete everything about him..in my mind..in my heart as well..

Tetapi..
Entah kenapa..
Bole termimpikan dia..
Dan semua nya rasa seperti suatu realiti..
Langsung bukan mimpi...

And I hate when this happen to me..

Coz the heartache is soooo unbearable..
If only I can cry out loud and say that he doesn't matter to me..
If only I can throw away my heart and just erase each and everything about him..

Sbb sejujurnya..
Saya sendiri mmg Dah selesa dgn hidup saya..
I have already come to the acceptance phase..
Now..
I don't mind being alone..
At least I know that I can take care of my parents...

Baik saya kerja bagai Nak giler..
Kumpul duit and bawak mama Abah makan sedap2..jalan2 tempat best2..
Dpd pikir mana nk cari lelaki...
Sbb saya tahu saya mampu hidup sendiri..

Bukan melawan ketentuan..
Tetapi saya Mula sedar..
Mungkin cinta bukan utk insan seperti saya yg serba kekurangan..

Tp...
Bila saya Mula termimpikan dia semula..
Saya Mula gelisah
Hati xmenentu...

Entahlah..
Mmg mimpi mainan tidur..
Tp kenapa perlu aku mimpi kan lelaki yg Dah kupadam namanya dpd kotak hati dan memori Ku ini..???

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