does smile=health?

Arini terasa sgt kesorangan...huhu..ntah nape ntah...
sunyi sgt...

td masa baru balik ptg td, sumone tegur and said " wada nape nampak xsihat?" and out of nowhere, kita memarahi that girl,by saying that she made her own assumption....she tried to defend herself and she said, 'wada smakin kurang senyum..."
hmmmm, does xsmile = xsihat...? or does smile=healthy...? i was puzzled...still am..
ntah la...i'm sorry coz kita jawab dgn penuh kekasaran td, but, really, i was not in a mood to chit-chat about how do i look today......
kesian sgt to that girl, kita tau yg dia try to be friendly, to be a concerned fren, to tell that she cares...tp, im sorry, maybe its the way u said those words...maybe the timing is not right...but, most probably, maybe it's just me.......
ntah la...lately, i'm becoming soooooooooooooooooo moody...
nape pn tak tau la...
maybe i hv to go back to see mama,abah n adik2, to recharge my happiness level back to normal...
so that i'll smile more frequently...so that, no one will say that kita ni xsihat.....
anyway, i'm looking forward utk pulang ke rumah weekend ni...nak gi hari peladang (as what hs been suggested by Mama, then pegi maen bowling...best nye..best nye )...
but somehow, i hv to write down what i feel...............

i dont understand what i really feel...
but this feeling just cant go away...
it's hurting me so much..
every second of my time..
i cant take it anymore.......

(but i think, the main reason is that, i miss those smiles, i miss those laughs, i miss those jokes, i miss those time that we spent together...i really hope to have those moments back...so that i cn once again be happy, so that i can once again smile and laugh wholeheartedly, so that i will be my 'old' self back.....)

XOXO, Me, dont know why...