Hari yg semacam...

1.arini dh ari ke-3 dermato...baru jumpa dgn dr anis...td baru la dpt skit 'cahaya' ttg kehidupan dlm posting dremato ni...hmmm.mcm best bila ada doctor mengajar...mcm tak best bila xde sape yg hiraukan aka terbiar tanpa bimbingan aka berdiri je tercongok kat clinic dermato tu tanpa hala tuju...tp mcm syok jugak la...maybe sbb dr anis pandai bcakap, mbuatkan kita rasa nk jd rajin ckit utk blaja dermato ni :)

2.rasa2nye mcm nak gi shopping lg la ptg ni...weekend ni dh puasa..n my geng utk bershopping sgt bz kat kg pdg tu...so, tpaksa surpress keinginan tu shingga abis puasa nnt
;( sob,sob~ maybe shingga abis raya,coz raya nnt mst bz nak beraya sakan!!!

3.i heard sumting td..sumone told me sumting...xtau nak percaya apa...coz slama ni, i believe in sumting else...tp tadi, kita tahu sumting...and i dont know how to respond...hmmm...situaisi nye begini...apa anda rasa, jika, anda ingatkan kreta yg anda sygkan slama ni adalah kreta yg best sgt2...tp rupa2nye, kreta tu, kreta 2nd hand...? ( btul ke analogy sy ni...mcm pelik aje bunyik nye....)
btw, ni xde kaitan lgsg dgn WNU ksygn saya tu...WNU, i love u :D

So, what should i expect?hmmm...surprisingly, i should not expect anything at all!!!!
XOXO, Me, Confused...........

does smile=health?

Arini terasa sgt kesorangan...huhu..ntah nape ntah...
sunyi sgt...

td masa baru balik ptg td, sumone tegur and said " wada nape nampak xsihat?" and out of nowhere, kita memarahi that girl,by saying that she made her own assumption....she tried to defend herself and she said, 'wada smakin kurang senyum..."
hmmmm, does xsmile = xsihat...? or does smile=healthy...? i was puzzled...still am..
ntah la...i'm sorry coz kita jawab dgn penuh kekasaran td, but, really, i was not in a mood to chit-chat about how do i look today......
kesian sgt to that girl, kita tau yg dia try to be friendly, to be a concerned fren, to tell that she cares...tp, im sorry, maybe its the way u said those words...maybe the timing is not right...but, most probably, maybe it's just me.......
ntah la...lately, i'm becoming soooooooooooooooooo moody...
nape pn tak tau la...
maybe i hv to go back to see mama,abah n adik2, to recharge my happiness level back to normal...
so that i'll smile more frequently...so that, no one will say that kita ni xsihat.....
anyway, i'm looking forward utk pulang ke rumah weekend ni...nak gi hari peladang (as what hs been suggested by Mama, then pegi maen bowling...best nye..best nye )...
but somehow, i hv to write down what i feel...............

i dont understand what i really feel...
but this feeling just cant go away...
it's hurting me so much..
every second of my time..
i cant take it anymore.......

(but i think, the main reason is that, i miss those smiles, i miss those laughs, i miss those jokes, i miss those time that we spent together...i really hope to have those moments back...so that i cn once again be happy, so that i can once again smile and laugh wholeheartedly, so that i will be my 'old' self back.....)

XOXO, Me, dont know why...

Weekend yg bz berjalan2 :)

Bahagia nye ada kawan2 yg sgt2 baik ni...they hv brightened up my life :)
Now i can smile once again :)
I can already accept that even though sy 'terpisah', mereka tetap ada di sisi utk diri ini..
Thanks a lot...cyg korg semua :)
It's not that i dont hv other frenz, i do, and i do love them too, but, sbb dah terbiasa bersama all the 5 of them ( u know who u r) ,sy terbawa2 rasa kesunyian,kesorangan ni...tp xpe, now i'm already my old self back :)

hehe :) my weekend ends with a smile on my face...
ari jumaat petang, lpas tido dgn penuh kebahagiaan spjg ptg tu, kuar g anta kwn g klinik...cian dia...kna kuarantin smpai skrg...she is still hving low grade fever...plz pray for her, hopefully that she'll recover asap, insya-Allah :)
then, malam tu, kuar gi makan kat santai dgn nad,azi, us...sedap sgt mkan lasagna kat ctu...nyum nyum :)
esoknye, pagi tu temankan hana n ehem2nye gi megamall...plan asal she asked me to temankan dia beli headphone, then plan berubah, terpaksa la kita join je mereka berdua..haha :) sy menyibuk je dlm mereka berdua memilih2 headphone tu :) ala2 chaperone gitu ~

then ptg tu, kuar dgn mucuk (jetul) g ber-ronggeng...syok sgt!!!! hihihi :)

then pg td, dikejutkan oleh cik jetul, dpt mkn nasi lemak ma jetul yg best sgt2...sedap~ i like :) tq mucuk :)

my evening, masa utk bershopping!!! kuar dgn us and nad...mula2 kitaorg gi ecm, mkn kat kfc, then jalan2...then temankan diaorg cr brg2 utk ke sg lembing...hehe :) best sgt dpt jalan2 :)

This week, mereka ( jetul, nad, us,azi,.....) akan ke sg lembing ...i bet i'll miss them all so much...uhu :(

but, i've promised to myself, that i'll study hard sepanjang ketiadaan mereka ni....

then bila mereka pulang, i can enjoy once again with them..yahoo!! :)

XOXO, Me, happy..

Lamakah lagi ....?

Tak larat...seriously, dah tak larat...
cmne nak hadapi hidup slama setahun ni..
cmne nak harungi semua ini, sendirian...keseorangan...
tak sanggup lg idup penuh kesunyian mcm ni ...
tak sanggup lg idup penuh kekosongan begini......
bayangkan, takde teman berbual...takde kawan nak berkongsi masalah ataupun nak bergelak ketawa mcm slalu....
ntah la...ntah la...


Cmne saya nk blaja kalu saya tak de smgt lgsg..takde perasaan lgsg...
Cmne saya nak blaja kalu hati ini kian memberontak...makin memberontak setiap detik..setiap saat...
Tak larat...tak sanggup... tak kuasa...
Ya Allah.. Ya Allah.. Ya Allah...
Berikan diri ini kekuatan...
Kerana aku dah tak sanggup lg mengharungi segala ini...
Kerana diri ini mmg lemah, tak kuat utk menempuhi segala ini....

XOXO, Me, I cant bear it anymore ~

Memetik kata2 seseorang, idup mesti diteruskan :)

Setelah menjalani weekend yg penuh aktiviti bershopping :

• Jumaat - Gi parkson + megamall beli handbag,2 baju for baby and rahsier~
  
• Sabtu- Pagi2 dh gi picnic kat TC... Then,gi KP, beli girlie things, blouses and shawl~
• Ahad- Hari dimulakan dgn gi pasar tani utk beli food for breakfast...pastu,gi makan2 kat tempat yg dikatakan sgt sedap, tp rasa nye, cm biasa je...nasib baik la ada org ngaku ygb mknn aritu cm biasa je..hehehe :) tp syok la, coz dpt jalan2, mkn kropok lekor yg sgt sedap and duk di tepi pantai, makan cempedak goreng and minum air kelapa...

Tapi arini, 3rd of August 2009, mula lah episod pertama dalam diri ini menjalani ari2 sebagai 4th year medical student...

• Kita start dg posting radiology...pagi2 ada briefing dgn Prof. Arif about specialized posting...then, gi HTAA, ada briefing lg about our radiology posting..huhu...then, Dr.kamariah ckp, ada pre-test..hadoi la~ dalam keadaan diri ini yg blank n tak tau pape ni, maka sy pn main hentam sajalah soalan2 itu...
• Then, we hv to go to sumthing like seminar, tajuk 'kursus keselamatan radiasi'...huhu...sgt mengantok...bayang kan...1st day in the posting n u hv to attend that talk...xpaham apa pn..huhu..full of technical terms...at last, after lunch, kitaorg cabut, pegi ke JHC
• Then, at 4pm, ada kelas lagi..huhu..

Penat sungguh...memang sgt2 penat...
Tp, xpelah...
I have to be strong...
I have to face all these...
Even though i'm alone...

Sedihnye...sedih sgt2...
Sunyi sgt...
xde lagi gelak2 cam dulu...
xde lagi jokes cam dulu...
xde lagi spending hours just for eating lunch kat tempat yg syok (pak akob's)
xde lagi usik mengusik...gossip menggosip...

Yg paling saya rindu kan...kawan seposting yg lepas... Jetul,Nad,Azi,Us...My motivator...

But, quoting from someone, hidup mesti diteruskan...
Yup, U're right...
Hidup mesti diterus kan :)

XOXO, Me, Alone and Lonely