Reading back my old posts

I have been writing on and off in this blog of mine

Mostly about my days
And also about guys yg saya suka..

Haha..
And after reading back..

I think..
The current obsession is a repeatition actually..

He has been there..
And i have been admiring him before..
And i forgot about him  because abang kapten berada di sisi.

Now that abang kapten dh pergi jauh tinggalkan aku sndiri..
I am obsessing over him again..

But now..
We are more matured..
But i am still the silly girl..
Always..

Awak..

The vibes when i am with u..
Is so much different with the vibes when i was with abg kapten..

U make me smile..
He made me smile as well..
But for different reasons..

When he is around..
I feel so excited..palpitation..blood rushing through my veins..pumping my heart three zillion times faster..

But then..
When i am with u..
I feel that u really do care..
U really listen to me..
U put aside ur phone..ignore the calls.. and the messages..
Just to listen to my stupid stories...
U stop eating..u stop everything..
Just to lend ur ears to me..

Oh tell me now..
How do i avoid falling in love with u..

Awak..
I am a silly ugly girl..
I have nothing to offer to u..
But i just want u to know..
I will love u unconditionally through out the remaining years that i have..
Come what may..
Only if u come and tell me...
That u r feeling the same way too..

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During lunch part 1

Inside his car..
Today is his turn to drive..

We were talking about the fire that happened this morning in HSA JB..


Then..
Dia mula cerita mcm2 benda yg buat kta merenung dia sepanjang dia bcakap masa dlm kereta tu..
I was really listening to him..in awe..
Sambil mulut melopong..
And when he turned and look..
Mmg buat kta kagum sgt dgn dia..

Oh..he is sooo mature..and well versed..
Nampak mcm simple and klaka2 orgnya..
But he can talk about serious matters..
Tp dgn gaya mendidik..dan tenang sekali..

And he is as playful as he is..
Wada..cuba teka.. apa amalan yg paling berat timbangan nya di sisi Allah..
And i answered many2 times..takde yg betul..

Me: doa
Him: bukan

Me: beramal pd ibubapa
Him:bukan

Me: sedekah amal jariah
Him:bukan

Me: baca quran
Him:bukan

Me:zikir
Him: bukan

Me:ingat Allah stiap masa
Him: bukan

Me:ikhlas
Him: bukan wada..paling simple..

Ntah la..apa lagi benda simple..smuanya kta dh sebut..
Him: Akhlak.. senangkan.. akhlak yg baik..tp..bukan senangkan nak ada akhlak yg baik..

😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

Awwww..kenapa la awak ni sgt la main dgn hati kita.. uwaaa..

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Him Again

Semalam dia sms me..
Wada..awk tak nak keluar mkn ke arini..?

But i read the sms late..130pm baru baca..

So..mmg xsempat la kan..

So today..
Awal2 dh mesej dia dh..

Jom arini keluar makan..kta stress kerja kta ni..

Ok..nnt roger2 k..

Tp..sbb bz kat clinic..
Kul 1245 pun masih xsettle2 tgk pt..

He texted at 1259..
Wada..jom3..

So..i finished the pt's plan..terus bergegas..

Waited for him..
And we went out for lunch together..

To be continued..
P/s: he made me fall again for him..
Macam mana awk bole ckp mcm2 perihal agama as well sambil awk drive kereta..sambil awk senyum2..sambil awk explain dgn relaxnya..?
And plz dont give me that look.. i can easily fall too deeply for u if u keep on staring each time i am telling u stories..

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Again with him

Arini clinic abes agak awal..
I managed to finish my patients tepat pukul 1pm..
Wow..terer sgt..haha

So as usual..
I texted him..

Awk..jom keluar makan..

Ok.jom..

Eh..kejap..kat mana..?

Naik kereta awk bole..?

Me: ok..

Cepat wada..dh lambat ni..

Jap..terserempak dr Lau..haha.

And he has already waited at the front of RT Counter..

Jap ek wada..ada call nk kena buat ni..

Ok..

So we walked along and he continued with his phone call..

While covering the front speaker of his phone -nnt kta citer kat awak ek..

Me:ok..

So i drived..
And he talked..on his phone..
Haha..

Eh eh..sejak bila la aku ni jadi sopan kan..?
I am a rebellious girl..
And i do whatever that i wanna do..
Tp..

So..sambil dia ckp telefon..sambil dia ckp with me..

Haha..

Nak gi mana wada..?

Kta gi ayer@8 bole..?

Ok..bole..

And we arrived..
And we ate at assam house..

And we ordered..
And we talk again..

Isyh..banyak benda awk xciter kat kta..

Eh..kta citer la smua kat awk..

Tak.. awk x citer pun pegi sempadan tu...

Haha.. takde la wada..
Kta skrg ni ada one group of friends.. 4 of us.. travelling backpackers style..truly backpackers..tak macam awk yg travel fancy2..
Haha..😆😆😆
(Amboi..suka2 perli kta kan..?)😅😅

Me: Oooo..

All guys..
(Haha..kalau ada girl pn apa salahnya kan.. and i dont dig up to that extend)

And he continued..
Tp travel mmg with very minimal budget...we dont fly..we drive and walk from one place to another..
Mmg very2 minimal spending..
Tp i dont agree with sleeping by the roadside smua tu la...i insisted on staying in proper room at least..

😂😂😂😂
Really didi..? And now i am the one laughing..

Haha.

Ye wada..coz diorg mmg xde duit sgt..tp nak travel2 tgk dunia..so.. tu yang mcm tu..

But then.. awk xpegi ke tgk2 tempat2 bersejarah la..cultural show ke .. muzium ke..

Xde wada.. just pegi..amik2 gamba..tgk.kehidupan kat sana..and balik..

Hmmm.awak enjoy ke..?

Xsangat..

Then why do u join them..?

Sambil dia angkat bahu tanda taktahu..


Aisyhhh ini budak....😓😓😓
Ok..to be continued..haha

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After years..

Years..
He left me for years..

But still..
A single hello from him..
From whatsapp aje pulak tu..
Really makes me shiver..
I was trembling..
And it becomes harder to breathe..

Imagine..
U r still with a patient..
Explaining about his medical condition..
And then..as u need to take pic of the pt' lesion for documentation purpose..

When u opened up your phone..
The first thing that popped up on your screen is..
"Salam.. wada sihat..?"

So..
How do u feel..?

Me..?
I was really shivering..
The pt was still in front of me..
And i just cant breathe.
I cant keep my hands from shaking..
I cant keep my eyes from crying..
I was trying to explain to the pt..while trying hardly not to cry in front of the pt..
And i was tachypneic all of a sudden..
I cant even speak in full sentence....


Dear kapten nun jauh di sana..
I have been trying to forget u..
It has been years..
And a single message from u...
Really keeps all the memory overflowing my mind..

Dear kapten..
I have been loving u too long..
U have been away for too long as well..
And i dont know how this will end..
But..
I just cant do this anymore..
I just cant..

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