I am trying to find a song that can at least describe what i'm feeling right now..
hmm..but i cant..no, i cant..
coz it is sooo complicated, even i cant spell it out...
but for one thing, of which i am very sure of, i am very grateful for given a chance to have such 'a spectrum of wonderful' feeling~

Semalam saya tido spjg malam...lgsg xbuat pape selain tido dgn nyenyak nye..a day wasted without doing nothing..owh,owh,owh..

tp smlm adalah hari yg sronok..coz my grup ward (me, cimee,husna, mimi,asma') gi ke rehab..hehe..
klaka sgt2..when the patients are allowed to play around and do activities...
tp smlm kurg havoc nye coz there were only 'blunted' ptz..ptz bipolar smua nye xjoin rehab smlm...
but still, i really enjoyed aktiviti smlm..hehe...

1st, we were ask to sing along with the patients..nyanyi lagu negaraku, jalur gemilang, malaysia gemilang terbilang..haha..rasa cm zaman skolah la msa tu...
kena berdiri tegak nyanyi lagu2 tu..hehe..mcm2 gelagat pt dpt dilihat..mmg klaka..

then, ktaorg kena main volleyball..uhu..
ini bukan games saya!!!
saya cuma pemerhati tegar game ini, tp saya tak reti main..tolong!!! haha..
mmg kaw-kaw ktaorg kena belasah dgn sorg abg attendant ni (mana aci, pt cuma 2,3 org je yg bole main, tp abg attendant tu yg main berlebih2an shingga menyebabkan kami kalah...30-6..hehe..mmg memalukan..saya dh kena ketawa dh dgn org yg handal..ish ish..)
cimee siap ckp lagi, patut panggil dia yg terer tu main kat ctu time tu, pasti kami menang :P

then, kami wat aktiviti in-door with the pt..
"putera-puteri impian"..
ni aktiviti dlm grup..saya seorg+seorg student nurse+4patients.
kena hiaskan seorg dpd pt tu, guna newspaper..
my grup menang dpt 1st place :D yeay!!!
para juri ckp, kitaorg pny teamwork is the best..hehe..bangga I ^^

The girl standing next to me is my grup's model..with other contestants and my other frenz..hehe..best..best :))

Owh, colour of ysterday - maroon..haha..why..? coz i like maroon 5 :D * adakah jwapan sy menjawab soalan....? ngeh ngeh :D

owh,. arini sgt2 penat..ntah kenapa,spatutnye saya kena blajar..next week dh ada short-case psy..plus, esok ptg ada study grup..uhu..kena jd lebih rajin ni..

btw, arini, happy..happy..happy...
sbb ada yg dh membuatkan saya gembira coz mengenakan seseorg yg slalu wat saya sakit hati..haha..
trima kasih krana wat cmtu..thanks a lot..
sila teruskan berbuat begitu ya...kita sokong 101% :D

when she felt annoyed, i feel happy :D 

haha (kedengaran sprti saya ni jahat kan??mmg pun..sbb that girl selalu sgt sakit kan ati saya..)

but i do wonder, will she ever be annoyed if the one making fun of her is a 'he' not a 'she'...? rasa nye dia suka je kot kalau cmtu...hmmm....

I am writing at the odd hours (lagi...?)
hmm..i think that my sleeping hours hv been altered for this past few days la..uhu..
tido tak tentu masa..tp belaja nye tk de la byk pun~

hmm..tp one thing for sure, i miss my family soooo much...rindu sgt2 pd mama, abah n baby...td masa ckap kat fon dgn mama, when mama told me about baby, walaupn just crita biasa, but i felt like crying...owh..
how much i miss that little girl..the apple of my eyes...huhu..rindu sgt2 nak cium n hug her tightly..n main2 dgn baby, gelak2 n do lots of silly funny things with her...dah lama sgt rasa nye i am here..
sgt2 berdoa so that i will pass my pro exam,
so that, next year i can start to work in mlaka n be with them again :))

bole la pegi kua makan2 sama2..kua jalan2 sama2..kua shopping sama2..
bila rasa jemu or bosan, mama will always be there for me, bole crita everything pada mama, kalau sedih2, she will always be there to wipe my tears and cheer me up...
bila rasa boring, ada my little pumpkin..we can do sooooo much things together..and i am sure it'll be sooo much fun..tak sabar rasanya nak bawak baby kua jalan2 n tgk wayang sama2...gelak2 sama2...having fun together..
and of course, abah will always be there to be my hero :) hehe...akan sntiasa rasa selamat when abah is around..

owh..owh..owh..how i miss home soooo much...

and i am doing my best to make sure that i pass my pro-exam...
although it may seem flawed, but i am trying the best  that i can...

plz pray for me...plz pray for my friends too, 10th batch mbbs iium...
plz pray for our success :)))

saya konon2 stayup nk blaja..nk baca for seminar esk..but i ended up surfing the net..alahai kakyu..study la..exam tgal less than 2 weeks je lg...
owh..byk nye benda nk crita...
kisah di wad dahlia arini, we tried to interview 3 patients yg akhirnye mengecewakan...
kisah saya yg tiba2 nk kena present for esok class, factitious disorder and malingering..
hmmm..heading nye ajela ye...kita nk crita smua nye...
tp..tp...tp cm malas nk type, my hands are LAZY :P hehe..

owh, td i talked dgn lama nye ngan mama kat fon..happy sgt2...dah lama dah ayu tak call n sembang2 lama2 cmtu ngan mama,kan...miss u sooooo much mama...rasa macam dh setahun dh ayu tak balik umah..huhu...i'm looking forward to finish my exam, sbb nak balik umah n jumpa mama...

plus, kisah di kala malam smlm yg mmg xdpt lupa smpai skrg...
haha..
dear friends, lpas ni kalau ada sesapa nk kita jd pengintip aka spy, sila gunakan khidmat saya ok.?hehe..
ada yg dh suruh kta jd spy smlm..
which ended up with dia punya grandeour delusion (^^) and me laughing my heart out...
klaka sungguh la encik...ada ke patut suruh kita wat cmtu di kala malam yg hujan lebat..?ish ish ish...
I report nnt kang :P hihihi..tp xkanla kita nk report, coz kita pn dh terlibat sama kan..? tp comel sungguh ya permintaan pertolongan itu..out of nowhere..haha..mcm a bit of surprise pn ada gak :P

AXIS of DSM IV-TR

* Just a note for me yg tak pandai2 lg ni..konon2nye wat case write up dementia..pastu tak tau nak letak axis mana..hahaha :P 

Axis I: Clinical Syndromes -
This axis describes clinical symptoms that cause significant impairment. Disorders are grouped into different categories, including adjustment disorders, anxiety disorders, and pervasive developmental disorders.

Axis II: Personality and Mental Retardation
This axis describes long-term problems that are overlooked in the presence of Axis I disorders. Personality disorders cause significant problems in how a patient relates to the world and include antisocial personality disorder and histrionic personality disorder. Mental retardation is characterized by intellectual impairment and deficits in other areas such as self-care and interpersonal skills.

Axis III: Medical Conditions
These include physical and medical conditions that may influence or worsen Axis 1 and Axis II disorders. Some examples may include HIV/AIDS and brain injuries.

Axis IV: Psychosocial and Environmental Problems
Any social or environmental problems that may impact Axis I or Axis II disorders are accounted for in this assessment. These may include such things as unemployment, relocation, divorce, or the death of a loved one.

Axis V: Global Assessment of Functioning
This axis allows the clinician to rate the client's overall level of functioning. Based on this assessment, clinicians can better understand how the other four axes are interacting and the effect on the individual's life.

Letters to Juliet~

Doubt thou the stars are fire..

Doubt that the sun doth move..

Doubt truth be a liar..

But never doubt, i love .....

Letters to Juliet..

Owh, crita ini sweet sgt...simple yet sgt terasa di hati saya..padahal tiada kaitan pn with my life.
baru je abis tengok crita ini...
kononnye nak bg motivation utk wat CWU..
saya dlm mode kejiwangan ~
just because of this movie, i once again believe in true love..

p/s: kawan2 kalau nak movie ni, kita ada tau..hehe...pd kita, crita ni sweet..n i smiled n smiled n smiled while watching this movie...nape eh....?

I hate to be here~

I hate to be here...
jauh dpd mama...

I hate to be here..
Kuantan is not a place yg heavenly...
the persons (i mean org2 kuantan, not my beloved frenz) are not kind enough..they most certainly are either mean or rude....

I hate to be here..
i am all alone..
i want to cry...but no one is here to wipe my tears...
no one is here to hear me...
no one is here to understand me...

and i miss my mama sooooo much...
coz only mama can make me feel alright..
only she can calm me and soothe my feelings...

i hate to be here...
i hate to be here..
i hate to be here...

Arini..hari ini..

arini sabtu yg busy..
rasa sgt penat n ngantuk..tp mata ni tak mau tido...

i woke up early, sbb arini kan weekend, i'm supposed to sleep lebih lama..tp nape ntah xdpt tido lama2...
so, because i was feeling hungry already, i roger cik mijah cyg and we went out for breakfast..nyum2..
i ate nasi lemak ayam and mijah ate roti banjir..hehe..we even made a deal that we would go out ke sana lg lpas ni to try another stall yg nampaknye cm best..xsabar rasanye nk kua dating ngan mijah lg :)
then, i went to IKOD dgn Len n Chepon...bawak pt and her fmily jalan2 tgk iium kuantan open day...
then i went with len gi cari air teh ais sedap...
then, i went back ke bilik...kemas2 baju..kemas2 bilik...
then ptg nye, we went to open house Mr Faidzal..best sgt2..siap dpt duit raya lg..thanks a lot to Mr Faidzal & Dr Suraya...kami went once again lepas magrib slps Dr ajak..hehe..mmg mereka sgt2 friendly..even their youngest son, was very cute... "Are u my fren..?" comel sgt2 when the boy kept on asking this questions and then sings a cute song about frenz :))
then we wentback..dh dkat 1030pm...
and since then, saya bgolek2 je kat katil ni...xdapat nk tido~

wishing that someone can understand this song~

Maafkan kali ini aku harus jujur
Kau harus tau siapa aku sebenarnya
Terfikir dalam ingatku tentang cinta terlarang
Selama ini ku pendam

(coz u r saying that u dah berpunya, and u kept on saying that, and i believe it..i do....so,.i cant have any feelings for somene yg milik org..kerana milik org bukannya utkku..bukan utkku..)

Jangan salahkan keadaan ini sayang
Semua adalah keterbatasan ku saja
Tak mampu menjadi yang kau mau
Aku mencoba dan aku tak mampu

Tak bisa lagi mencintaimu
Dengan sisi langitku

(I hv tried my best, all my might..everything that i can..but i just couldnt do it anymore.....)
Aku tak sanggup jadi biasa
Aku tak sanggup

Tak ada satupun yang mungkin bisa
Terima kau seperti aku
Mohon jangan salahkan aku lagi
Ini aku yang sebenarnya

Tak mampu menjadi yang kau mau
Aku mencoba dan ku tak mampu

Aku tak sanggup

gi pasar mlm ngan Ija

Ni kisah arini.. kua gi pasar malam ngan ija..

first time ija ke pasar malam kat cni..

hehe..ija ni lain dpd kita..dia rajin blaja..kita rajin bershopping :P

hehe..

 me before gi amik ija, bersama my WNU tersyg~

 

Ija tekun memilih popcorn..nak warna-warni ke nak colour kuning :P

 

so, at last pilih popcorn kuning..yeay !!

 we are sisters ~ yeay!!

 thanks ija teman kakyu gi pasar malam :)

kena rajin~

PSy posting dh tamat 4weeks..lagi 3weeks bfor the final exam..huhu
so, kena rajin2 blaja..
memandangkan xstudy pape pn ni, kena rajin2 studi..

tp jap lg nk gi pasar malam dgn ija..yeay!!! ;)
will try to upload the pics la..dah lama tak de gambar2 dlm blog ni..
hehe..akan try utk amik pics of ija kat pasar malam nnt :P

saya membebel..sila ignore~

This is my bebelan for the time being..hishh..susah la macam ni..
kalau kita duk diam2 pun org duk bercakap, so, lebih baik jgn duk diam...kan..?kan..?
tp bila pikir smula, huhu..takkan nak biar je kan..?

kenapa kita bebel merepek cmni..?
uhu..few days back, when encik cimee said sumthing ttg gossip about ME..?apakah..?saya pun ada gossip ke..?uhu.takutnyeeeeeeee saya~
tak mau gossip2 ni..tak elok utk kesihatan..kalau benda betul, mst la kita bgtau..haha :P

then, in the afternoon, when a sister ni telah dgn berjaya nye membuat hati kita terasa sakit..smpai skrg.
sbb xtau kenapa la kita tiba2 dijadikan bahan crita nye..hmmm.kita sama posting kah..?kita ada wat sumting pd sis ni kah..?or more precisely, kita ada kacau hak dia kah..?
sbb rasa nye this one particular girl is sumone yg akan bertindak if sumone has done sumting to her..
tp, adakah kita dh wat ssuatu yg buat dia xsenang hati smpai dia nk balas smula kpd kita...
hmmm, if so, kita mintak maaf..
but, plz la, i dont need all these stupid things to complicate my life..
kita tak kacau pun this one particular sister, so, why should she...?

ke sis ni nak kat dia tp xdpt..?hahahaha..

dont blame me,ok!! 

dah kamu yg xberjaya, bukan saya halang pn kalau kamu tu cuba nak pikat dia :P ngeh ngeh ngeh :P 

tp, one thing for sure, dia xkan  terpikat pd sumone yg terasa diri bagus macam kamu...sori to say ya :P

owh, kpd dia yg sering memahami..trima kasih sbb slalu ada di situ utk kta..
tp, perlu kah berkata smua itu pd kita..?smuanya menghantui kita smula...
biarlah..kita tau siapa kita...

Arini...
bangun awal sgt2..then dah xbole tido dh..
walaupn mata nantok...
so, i watched a movie... tgk lg "Toy Story 3.." comel je crita ni..hehe..mmg ssuai dgn mood baru bgn tido..
and now, i am supposed to read for the tutorial ptg kang, normal & abnormal grief..
tp..tp...tp..xde mood :( tiba2 terasa nak menulis, so here i am..

nak tulis pasal this one song yg sedang saya dgr ni..
HILANG- by jinbara...
sgt menyentuh hati..terasa macam apa yg sdg saya rasa skrg ni..
ni cuma apart of the song yg really macam kena aje..uhu

Lemas meronta menggoncang lara,

Menangis aku sendiri, 

Jangan ditanya engkau pun tahu, 

Mengapa kau bersembunyi, 

Kau... Jelmalah engkau,

Beraksi rindu,

Mimpi-mimpiku... 

Malam... Digerbang luka

Menggarap cinta,suratan resah... 

This song ada byk lg kata2 yg sgt best..disebabkan i'm the kindof girl that sgt2 suka with words, ntah knapa this song terasa menusuk hati...

yelah kan..
siapa lah kita ni kan...?
orang biasa je kan...?
yg slalu je mengganggu kan..?
tak setanding pn.. and i know it..i really do~

p/s- this is mcm post-traumatic stress la ye, after DCP pg td yg terasa macam sgt2 memeningkan..sori ya kawan2 seposting, i've tried my best, tp rasa nye my presentation td cam ntah-pape-ntah...huhu...n it makes me semakin sukar nk mendalami posting PSY ini..owh, lagu itu tiada kaitan dgn apa yg saya alami pg td..just a piece of something yg tiada kena-mengena dgn sesiapa but myself~ tambahan dgn kesenyap-sunyi-an yg dialami di sini..am i so childish for behaving like this...?

Sambungan ke-happy-an

Arini masih lg rasa happy..
Alhamdulillah..nikmat Allah yg tak terhingga..masih berikan diri ini peluang utk rasa segembira ini...
knapa nak happy je..?
hehehe..sbb arini sebest smlm..
although bukan la ber-enjoy sakan smpai ke malam sprt smlm...
tp kenangan arini mmg terpahat di minda ini...

best sgt2.
pg td, pegi umah Dr Jamal ..
with put,yuyu, idayu n wan KD.. (and a story about wan KD n R*z*k which was told by dia, mmg asyik je wat kta gelak..hahaha..ntah betul ke tak, i dont know but it is funny..)
owh, and sgt best pegi umah dr Jamal td..he gave us inspiration and motivation to study smart for our Pro-exam..thanks a lot Dr ;)

then, tghari nye, we went to open house umah Dr Azura n Dr Fahmi..
umah Dr cantik sgt....i like the decoration inside the house...gaya urban contmporary yg best...it really inspired me... (skrg dh start pasang angan2 nak belikan a house for mama&abah kat melaka..sbb abah dh beli umah kat desa pinggiran putra tu, so, i think, it'll be better if i buy a house kat melaka for them both, so, senang la mereka nnt..hehe..tp, ini just angan2 seorg anak..mintak2 ia bakal jd kenyataan... )

owh, yg bestnye, it was like our batch open house coz almost all 10th Batchers were there...

walaupun ada yg dtg lewat, but still, they came.. (dlam hati dh tertnya2 nape xsmpai2 lg...gaduhkah..?marahkah..?tertidokah..? takde transportkah..?so bila mereka dh sampai, saya pun dh abis makan  n tak wisau lg..)

seronok sgt2..
i did take some pics tp xdpt nak upload coz i didnt bring the SD memory card reader along..leceh nye guna camera yg bukan milik ku ini...tp xpe, at least ada kenangan yg dpt dirakam kan..
and later nnt, i will upload the pics..insyaAllah :) :) :)

How i feel today..? Happy sangat2 :)

Arini...

happy..

happy..

happy..

My day of course la started with a smile...
(kerana, malam td pun dpt tido ngan happy nye stelah ada yg berjaya memahami jiwa kita yg tiba2 mcm mengajuk xsudah...hahaha :P saya mmg terlebih emosi..trima kasih byk2 sbb memahami...trima kasih byk2 sbb cerita kan smula pasal smua benda yg kita asyik ragui, tanpa perlu kita interogate lebih lanjut..trima kasih byk2 sbb menceriakan hati kita sampai kita gelak guling2 dgr smua lawak jenaka itu... :P)

pg td, i woke up late...terpaksa mintak cik jut cyg tunggu before we went to JHC...thanks jut sbb sabar dgn kita yg sering terlewat ini...

me n jut then went to eat roti canai kat res-Q, then Qila n Put join sama..best nye..

after CPC dr niza public health (pesticides & public health...rasanye la itu topic ye..sowi, i didnt pay much attention masa tu...cuma ingat the cases that Dr presented je..hehe), we have CP with Dr Kartini..Cik jetul present...banyak yg Dr kartini ajar to us, ttg PSY yg smpai skrg masih menjadi subjek mystery for me...

owh, kemudian, me with all my cayangs went to Pizza Hut, KP to celebrate (belated) birthday Jut & Qila..
best sgt2 dpt jumpa all my cayangs, 2gether at one time...miss the good old times when we used to go out more often~

kmudian, ber-window shopping skejap dgn Mijah,Qila n Jut...i bought a new bag..yahoo..comel n murah..i like ;)

Owh, dan malam nye, (Me, Jut, Mijah,Qila, Izzati, Put, Yuyu..) all my cayangs ada, except for hana..hana ada klas...we all went to Santai to hv our dinner...seronok sgt2..gelak2, ketawa2..stori-mori serta bergila-gila'an bersama...siap tukar2 food and snaps pics lg...sayang sgt2 korg smua..

so, when we went back, i called mama..mama baru balik dpd Majlis Bacaan Yassin n Solat Hajat kat skola baby..hehe ;) baby akan amik PMR this tuesday, smoga smua nye berjaya ye syg...disebabkan abah gi China this week, so mama la yg kena pi Mjlis solat hajat kat skola baby tu...and i talked and laughed a lot with mama...banyak crita yg dibualkan...from the story of "Bangau" (i laughed sooo much hearing this new name yg mama sebut) until the story of Blue Bull and Harrie & Larrie the Horses..

then, here i am, writing about one of the best day in my life...

Laughter, Sharing and Togetherness..that makes my day.. and i am full with love right now...from all my cayangs and my family...